Two days ago, one of the most popular and wonderful senior girls at my school asked me to go to dinner with her. I was ecstatic at first. Elated even. She actually asked me! I even decided to put down smoking two days before the date. For her, I thought, the withdrawal would be worth it. Â I spent all weekend overthinking things. I couldn’t imagine things going well. I could only imagine hundreds of situations in which I could fuck it up. I dreamed about it. I came to dread it. This was combined with both my natural cynical and bitter viewpoints, as well as the depression bound to come from nicotine withdrawal. The night of the date came (tonight). I cancelled. I don’t know why I cancelled, but I did. What the fuck is wrong with me. Please, someone tell me what is wrong with me. I am in a really bad place right now. This is the one good thing that has happened to me. The one, miniscule shot I had at happiness. I willingly threw it away. I am in a really bad place right now. Please help me.
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2 comments
Maybe you were nervous and didn’t want to fuck it up so you cancelled to reject her before she got the chance to reject you. She probably does like you if she asked you out. But don’t look at popularity. It really doesn’t mean a whole lot. Being well liked is a nice thing, but often the people who are popular are just as insecure as everyone else, sometimes more so. We’re all just people. If I were her, I’d want to know why you cancelled. You should tell her.
I think that maybe you didn’t want to get rejected so you rejected her first. You should go out at least once with her maybe it will make you happy.