But trying isnt good enough. I cannot take the bullying anymore. I’m not bullied much, but it hurts a lot regardless. She makes gagging sounds when I walk into the room. She doesnt even know me!
I’ve tried twice this morning. Suffocation by garbage bag, and asphyxiation by belt. Neither worked. It hurt, it made my lungs hurt and my head ache. I dont know how else to try.
3 comments
None of these morons are worth killing yourself over. It really is true what they say, bullies act that way because they feel bad about themselves. When I was younger I thought that was a bunch of nonsense that was just people trying to make me feel better, but it really is true. You have to look at it from a personal perspective. When you feel really good and you’re in a good place in life, the last thing that would ever cross your mind would be to take time to make someone else feel bad. When you truly feel good deep down, all you want to do is see other people be happy as well. Because to be mean to someone requires negativity, and when you’re in a good mood, taking time to be negative would just be ruining your own good mood as well. So trust me when I say whoever these people are to take time to poke fun at you are just unhappy about themselves. They may not even realize it or admit to it, humans are complicated and sometimes we are even really good at lying to ourselves. These people make tell themselves that they’re really happy and they think that they’re cool and popular and everything else, but somewhere inside they are unhappy and they want to make other people unhappy too so they don’t feel like they’re alone.
A great saying that I just remember which basically summarizes what I said so far, “those who seek to drag you down must already be below you”. Think of it as standing on a ladder, the person above you can’t grab on to you and try to pull you down the ladder. (Well, I guess they could kick from above, but you get the point). Anyone who wants to bring you down, is already below you, and they want other people to feel bad too. When you’re higher up on that ladder and feeling good, all you want to do is turn around and help the person below you climb up.
I know telling you these things won’t make it go away and might not make it hurt any less. But please try to understand that this other person’s opinion is not worth killing yourself over. It’s not really even an opinion of you, because like you said yourself, they don’t even know you! They aren’t acting out from a position of having a real, accurate opinion about you. It would be like someone who says a movie is totally horrible without even seeing it. People just like to think that they know everything. You yourself acknowledged that this person does not even know you so why would their opinion possibly make you want to end your life? If this person tried to tell you how the entire universe worked, would you believe them about that? No, they can’t possibly know what they are talking about, and they don’t know anything about you either. They aren’t forming a real opinion about you, they’re just acting from a position of stupidity, insecurity, and unhappiness.
Whenever it happens you just have to try to take a deep breath, remind yourself that this person probably feels bad inside and tries to distract themselves by making fun of other people, and know that you are a good person because I’m sure you would never turn around and treat someone else like this person treats you.
You can’t let them stop you. Understand that if they don’t grow up and mature that they’re going to get nowhere in life, meanwhile you are going to move past this and some day soon this person won’t even be in your life. This person might very well have no future ahead of them because they are immature and cruel, don’t give them the victory of taking your future away from you too.
Whenever they say something stupid or make a noise at you, either try not to react or just smile or laugh at it. If she makes some stupid gagging noise just laugh at this person gagging on their own stupidity.
It’s funny as you grow up, you start to realize the cool people were never the ones who were mean, the cool people in life are the ones who are nice to everyone and never try to make someone else feel bad.
Not to be insulting but this is a really, really silly reason to want to throw your life away. Some moron with nothing better to do makes gagging noises? Just let her make her stupid noises and live a long happy life. The fact that you sit at home attempting suicide methods just means this person is winning. Please stop.
Put your left hand on your shoulder and flick it like your brushing away dandruff in her direction that’s what i would do. But i’m not you. If you suffer from anxiety maybe the best thing to do is just ignori she probably singled you out cause you are a esey target. Try not to let it get under your skin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nlOeqEIHXY