I feel like I’m going crazy

How’s life they ask

Good I say. Mostly because it would take to fucking long to ever explain what is really going on in my head.

It’s such a general question that when someone asks it it’s obvious they don’t give a fuck so why bother. But here’s to all of the nobody that give a shit about how my life is “going.”

Things are not as swell as they seem. No I havn’t been taking my medication. Yes I am having melt downs almost everyday. Yeah I definitely can feel I’m losing my self. I feel like i’m going crazy. i have no one to talk to. I haven’t even talk to my best friend in about a month. Its as if no one notices me. but how could you not notice something like this? i’ve changed completely. maybe its not that they dont notice more like they just simplu dont care. I know in my heart no one cares about me. But that’s okay, why would you care about someone who can’t even care about them selves enough to even want to wake up? Im pretty much unloveable. I’m a fucking loser and my life is shit even though it doesn’t have to be. I’m just pathetic and make the worst of everything. its what weak, lonely people are best at. No one in this world understands me unless there dealing with the same shit. it’s late and I’m ranting about my feelings because well, life is not goin so well. Because, I hate myself. I wonder how much longer ill be here. Cause I’m so ready for whatever is next, hopefully an everlasting entirety of sleep. Yeah that’d be nice. Cause who wouldn’t wanna sleep forever right?

“How’s life?”
Good ill say.
Because I know you wouldn’t care anyway..

I’m such an emotional teenage *****. Never feel sorry for people like me. Cause we’re not seeking for attention or sympathy. No, to be honest I do know what I’m searching for and it’s quite sick. I want someone to push me off the edge tell me all these things are true. That way I can be sure when I end it that it’s for sure what I want to do. So go ahead fucking break me. Cause I just need certainty to finally put an end to me. I was never put out for the “living” thing to begin with. I don’t fit in I don’t belong. So why am I still here? Why do I put myself through this bullshit called life. I hate this. No, I hate me. So some one please end me, stop this constant cycle of disappointment we call life. But no one will, so I just might have to this myself.