For three years I have been told by my family and friends that I will be happy soon. After my aunt passed away to cancer, I began to do worse in school and rarely laughed. She was practically my mom and a person I strongly looked up to. Now I am nearing the third anniversary of her death and I am not sure if I can make it that long.
I have one friend who knows very little about my suicidal thoughts. My family has no idea and as much as my friend tries to help I know that this is causing a rift in our relationship. We never hang out much anymore and she gets so angry at me over how I feel.
So now that three years is a month away, I am debating over if I want to end my life on the anniversary of my aunt’s death. I am scared but I know deep down that I want to. I just don’t want my little sister to hate me. I am sixteen and she is six. She has been my bestfriend! I only have two other siblings. An older sister who I don’t really talk to and a brother who use to be my only friend but he is leaving for Afghanistan in one week. So me and my sister are eachothers best friends. I just don’t want her to forget me and I am afraid she will. I love her so much but she is better off with out me.
I am unsure but with each day sadness is created and I am slipping down a path I may not recover from.
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29 comments
i’ll be your best freind. what have you got to lose?
ok we will be your best friend. and i know how u feel i lost my mom last year
Thanks. All of my have left me and I would love to have one again.
I am sorry to hear about your mom.
yeah, the best part is that we cant ‘move away’.
Its hard to say if it’ll get better some people are just cursed to live a life full of pain suffering and hardship I wish you the best though
I am glad you can not ‘move away’ because everyone needs friends.
And I really hope my life isn’t full of pain and suffering…
Devastating. I wish i could say it will get better but thats up to you.
I mean what would your aunt say about this. she would probably say what anyone would say
Grief is so hard to get over, People always ask does it get better? The pain never goes allow its always the same just learning to live with it and not forgetting makes it get easier to deal with. do u think ur sadness will stop when ur dead? Do you think your little sister would ever forgive u? If u were my big sister i wouldnt
Your sadness is ganna get worse, but it will get better
then something bad will happen and you will survive
it goes up and down all the way through life.
But All you can do is whatever puts u at peace
i wish i could help all i can do is be a friend
Pain and suffering is all i have known
honestly, i might be able to turn your life around by talking to you right now, or i could have no affect on you. i do hope you dont feel as bad now.
i am with you u falkalore
thanks lost in the world it hurts not having my mom but i will be ok.
i am hear if u wanna talk.
I feel better and I am very thankkful that you talked to me because no one in my life ever has.
this is why this forum was created were either people who care, people who have ben hurt, or both.
well thats what me and falkalore are hear for hes a nice person. haha i would just be careful about me. i try not hurt people but i somehow do. all i want is to help cuz i know the pain
I was debating whether to join and then tonight I decided to and I know I feel alot better knowing that someone out their tried to help me.
well its good that you feel happy now
yeah and if you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you as well.
i would type a smiley face for you if the sight wouldnt change it into an uber-gay face.
haha well thanks but today i had gotten really happy cuz i think and hope the guys at school whos been sexual harashing me might finally end soon
see i told you hes great
Falkalore the face is uber-gay but thanks for the thought. haha
And life sucks thin u die I really hope that the guys stop harassing you because no one should have to deal with that.
ya i shouldnt its been going on for two years
o and btw just call me sucks everyone else does
ok thats alot easier to type. some people are just ignorant and i suppose we have to ignore them in life
ya well with him its not working. i have done everything but now he will be thrown in jail if he txt me again even to say hi
well that is good. i hope he will finally leave you alone!
man, i gtg… if i dont go to bed now, i’ll get yelled at by my teachers fo falling asleep… later.
ya me to
hes so damn confusing one day he wasnts something next hes saying he loves me its like wtf
haha night falkalore
i need sleep to but i dont care
Falkalore good night and thanks!
sucks well atleast your dealt with it and I know someone who is going through sort of the same problem. She kept falling for this boy who she knew was just using her and talking to her best friend and worst of all he was already in trouble for harassing girls in other school districts. My mom is making me go to bed to good night and thank you!
ok night yall and ya boys can suck ass haha