Hi,
I have suffered from PTSD from being obducted sometime ago, i cant seem to get over it and it has effected my life in a big way. The worst of it is, I have tried to hang myself but the noose broke, a week ago, i tried a OVERDOSE. everything was planned and arranged, I wrote letters to my close friends or family. I wanted to die in a peaceful place, and somewhere close to my nan that passed away some years ago. So I decided to die at her grave, someone found me and the hospital managed to save me life. After my friends found out, none of them have been supportive and I have not been contacted by any of them for a couple of weeks. I have known these guys for over 20 years in some cases and it hurts me that no one even bothered to check in and see if I was OK. My grandad has no idea what has happened, I had a row with my step nan and this triggered the 2nd time i tried to kill myself. I feel no remorse in what I did, so i know it was and is the right thing to do. I am just being patient and this time, no one will find me until its too late. I think that this world will be better off without me and I can not see anyway out. Its good to vent myself of this website and listen to people that have actually been in my current situation.
4 comments
I have never tried to kill myself but I do suffer from PTSD because my sister killed herself a year ago. SHe first tried an overdose but I found her and the hospital saved her, but the 2nd time she hung herself and I was to late. She spent 5 days in the hospital but there was no brain activity. Everyday I wonder what went through her mind both times before she did it. I will never know how she felt or why she did it because she did not leave a note. I may not know you but I hate the fact that your friends are not there to support you right now. I sincerely hope that you can find the strength to keep fighting and live each day to the fullest. I also joined this website in hopes to relate with others and it has helped me and I hope it can help you also.
I have never suffered from PTSD, I do know it’s nasty. You sound utterly burnt out. You friends may not know what to say, in fairness it’s not their responsibility to come in and fix you, no one can do that except you. Sadly that will take time, one step at a time. Everyone has a breaking point, you have hit yours. Don’t think the world will be better off without you, as that’s not true. You’re going to die one day, why rush it.
Hey Troutty,
Please don’t’ do it.. Please. Whatever your problem is, YOU can face it. Just give it some times.. I had a friend who nearly did suicide, and she’s able to rebuild her life! (I wrote story about her and how she actually able to face her life again in my previous post http://suicideproject.org/2013/05/scientific-ways-to-heal-broken-heart/ ) If she can do it, why can’t you?
Reading posts in this site, I realized that I was a lucky girl.. And I want to be friend to any of you who need someone to talk to. Just don’t end your life that easily. Please, as a stranger, I beg you. Please.
Mail me: shelly.ong86@gmail.com
I’m Courtney I was diagnosed in 2002 with PTSD due to being raped and beat daily by my father. If you want to talk ever message me anytime mamaswan128191@live.com