Why I’m here

Hey,I’m 15 years now,  10th grade, German.
I found this community searching for the 30 Day Self Harm Challenge. Maybe some of you know about it.
I’m going to try it.
I harm myself about 2 and a half year now. There were some lucky month I haven’t even thought about it. But I never wanted to stop and so I didn’t.
In the last weeks everything just went wrong and again self harm is one of my escapes.
I’m not trying to get rid of it with this challenge. I’m just interested in how it feels not to do something I want to.
So I’m going to live without self harm the next month.
I will start tomorrow ’cause of some reasons.
I’m exited about it but I don’t really expect some success.