im not important so why should i matter

I hate myself and the life i live in

Im a nobody

Im worthless

My mom doesnt like me

My dad doesnt like me

Nobody likes me

Nobody cares

I havent cried since last week

I know im not beautiful but do people have to remind me every
single day

Why do people have to lie to my face and say that

I know im ugly
I know im not going anywhere in life
I know i have my faults but why would you bring them everyday
I have no support

No congrats

No ..nothing

Im not anyone

Im not going to be anyone

I hate myself

But people still remind me

Why I should hate myself

And when someone says im cute or pretty or even beautiful

No

I dont understand

I probably never accept that
Cause people messed with my feelings

I cant take compliments

why should i

i can never tell if anyone is being serious with me

i know im not beautiful

What

like

no

175 pounds and only 16 for a girl in this society and the rules they laid out its pretty fucking disgusting

fucking disgusting

And i cant lose that weight for a couple of years due to my recent injury

Even when i was skinny i wasnt pretty Or even decent

Just fucking disgusting

So im not beautiful

   Beautiful is such a powerful word that im not worthy of being
called

i dont ever see anyone liking me

Thinking about me

Loving me

I cant imagine that

I hate myself and nobody loves me

Im lonely in this dreadful world

I hate it here

I want to die but i cant

I wont until i lose it completely

Ive always imagine what life would be like if i died

Would anyone care

Would anyone even worry

No… I dont think so… Sadly i dont even know my true
friends and family

Ive probably never even met my true family

Whens the day my mom will hug me and say its going to be okay

Never

Whens the day my dad is going to stop lying to make me like
him

Never

Whens the day ill ever be happy?

…..

Never.

Im always getting judged

Good or bad

Theres tears rolling down my cheek

I dont care for anyone anymore because no one cares for me

Sure i have a home

Sure i have clothes and people to back em uoBut me being a selfish “prick” that i am

i cant stop complaining about how shitty my life is.

There so many other people who have it worse than i do and i cant be grateful for what i have

I try

i really do

i try to recognize that everything could be 100% worse than it already is

Hmm so which name is it today

Stupid
*****
Moron
Street rat
Worthless
Fatass
******

Im so done with life
Why do the innocent die they dont deserve it
they had such big plans
Plus their families cared for them
Someone must of liked them
They couldnt have just been ignored someone must of loved them.
Why cant i die
No one would care so why do i have to stay
I dont want to stay

Im done with being sad

Why cant someone give me a big hug and tell me everything is  going to be alright. 
I hate breaking down like this

Crying makes me feel so weak
All i do is complain

Wine

Nothing intelligent comes out from me
My grades and hardwork mean nothing to anyone

Not my teachers

Not my parents

No one pays attention to me

Im tired of no one giving two shits about me

Nothing matters right?

So why should i be complaining about why i should matter?
Im stupid and worthless
Im not important i never was to begin with

Im nothing in this world

Im just a measly piece of meat just waiting to die anytime soon

I have nothing planned for the future
I dont have any big plans

Nobody likes me
Nobody cares
Nobody will ever love me

But thats it
Im sick
Im sick of life
And everyone
Im spiraling down to the pits of hell
No one cares for me
No one will.

Ill try to update if im still around