giving up

i really have no hope… i think ill be dead soon. i can’t talk to my friends, they really aren’t there for me. i wanna tell my mom but she never really listens. im sick of of living with myself , i believe the things that people tell me about myself. i feel so worthless right now. and i know im worthless … i met this girl and she made me feel special but my insecurities made me think i was never good enough for her, i ended up pushing her away… i attempted suicide a couple times already , and this is the worse i felt so far, i just cant deal with it anymore. and if i do it i dont want her to blaime herself for the rest of her life.