Im finally going to put a stop to this pain and guilt tonight. Â I can not continue hurting everyone around me, most importantly my son.. he’s to young to understand anyways..so i feel its best to do it before he can remember me. I have an idea on how i can accomplish this..but any other suggestions can help too.
4 comments
Can you give me an insight into why you feel that you are hurting everyone, including your son? You are blessed to have a son; I would give anything to have a child.
I’m sure your son would miss you terribly, whether he will remember you himself or through photos and talking to people that knew you. And to not have you there will be gut-wrenching. You have the power to be there for him, that I do know. Please think very carefully about this, and don’t do anything in the heat of the moment.
I agree with GreySkies. One day he will know what you are planning to do and to think you are leaving him better off then have you considered that he may feel abandoned by his own parent, rejected. The one who brought him into this world. No matter what you have done or what situation you are in, tomorrow is another day. There is forgiveness and our past doesn’t need to shape our future. If addictions are in the picture, then addictions can be overcome. It is better to take a time out to get help than end it all. I believe you love your son otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned him. Don’t give into this decision you are contemplating. Thank you for posting. You can be a good mama/ daddy but the one requirement is you gotta be alive.
I agree with the two posters above. Take a risk and get to know your son. Even if there are problems, it would be better to be there for him and other people who care about you. The only thing that stays the same in life is that it always changes. What seems impossible today may be no problem tomorrow.
Hope you can stay around 🙂
Your son does need you. He needs to know when he’s older that you were strong enough to hold on, strong enough that you’re there to tell him that. In all honesty, I’d say you need your son too. He’s someone that you have to live for. You can make sure his live is better so that he will never have to feel the need to end his life. Show him that strong people depend on others, and weak people depend on themselves — if that makes sense to you.