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 I don’t know why or how, but everything evil and bad in this world ends up finding me. Like I have a neon sign over my head, advertising yet another easy target for the world to corrupt.
I don’t get it.
Why are some people living the time of their lives and then the rest of us fall through the cracks?
I use to be happy. I never wanted to cut or even cry this much, but here I am. I use to not want to do anything I’m doing now. (Haven’t turned to drugs, but I’m contemplating…)
I don’t know what made me crack. Was is that my first ever boyfriend moved away and dumped me for being negative?
Was it because I’m not normal and taunted by peers who spread rumors about me being a lesbian? (Which I’m not and I don’t have a prob with people who are)
Or is it because I realize that growing up is more difficult than it sounds?
I have no idea what it is, but whatever it is it really messed me up.
I probably sound like a little girl with a mid-life crisis but if you walked a mile in my shoes maybe you would know how I actually feel.
Sometimes I wish I could slip into a coma and pretend that I don’t have to wake up. Not suicidally speaking but its my own way of saying that I want to get away from all the drama and just hibernate and just dream.
After all that’s all I ever do anymore.
I wish people could see that its not what you are its who you are, but no.
Everybody here (where I live) are supermodels…and well I’m not that kinda person.
“I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand.”
I love this song by the *** *** dolls, sometimes I wish my life was an 80’s movie or a song that narrates my life.
I suffer very bad self esteem issues, so when people pick on me it doesnt really help. I’ve ignored it for so long that its finally affecting me.
At the moment I’m not sure about what I’m willing to do, I don’t understand why all the kind people are the ones that throw their lives away. My friend Ben was one of those people.
How is it always the good people? The kind hearted, the intelligent or talented? Or even different, is the word different a word that means to be feared or a target?
If those people only knew how much they were cared for.
Every time I stumble across a suicide story I can place myself in their shoes in an instant, and I’ll admit I cry my eyes out like I knew the person.
Why are all the good people fading?
Sometimes I wish I’d never wake up…
4 comments
That was beautiful.
Thank you
uve just summed up everything i felt about 6 months ago, maybe more. im barely picked on and when i am its cuz of my accent (its “posh” despite the fact that the house i got the accent in was 3 deep, 1 wide and 2 floors) but ive seen adn instantly empathised with them about it. the thing that ive realised is that the reason the good people dont survive is because theyre too good to stood to the levels required to succeed. is that such a bad thing? i plan to go out into the world and head straight off out of the uk and go help those who need it. if theres a peoples revollution ill fight in it, if theres a drowning child ill swim to them. as a result everytime anyone says “who do you think youll marry?” or “do you want a boy or a girl?” i smile inside because i honestly dont see myself living that long.
if you feel like a chat or dont agree with me then try lauriejohnson1@hotmail.co.uk id really like to talk cuz whilst i dont know you ive never read anything so close to how i feel thats not my own.
Same here, I try not to but i cry myself to sleep often just cause i know ill wake up the next day. i cant stand reality. ive felt this way so long i dont know what to do. i’ll leave my email address cause it really feels good to talk to someone and not feel so lonely all the time. coreyrodgers@sbcglobal.net