So my story is a very long one. I’ll get right to it. I’m a gay teenage guy. I’m in the closet and only a select few know who I truly am. I’ve had one boy who I had relations with, both physically (we went all the way) and well for me, emotionally (I loved him and would have done anything for him. I’d take him back now if he asked). I opened my heart to this boy and gave him my virginity (apologies if this makes people uncomfortable). He crushed me. I got depressed after him and started self harming and I made an attempt to kill myself one night. (I attempted to OD) It was the most horrible time. Then I started to move on but then he started to creep back into my life and get me upset! (We never had any face to face contact since he crushed me) but that’s only the tip of the iceberg. My mum knows I’m gay (sounds strange) and numerous people assume I’m gay because I’m not one to go pull girls every night. I’ve been asked many times. But this guy comes back Into my life and I tell mum it’s time to come out. She makes me hush it up until my brother finishes school (he recently has) but she says I’m just confused now. Then over the past while I’ve had the worse luck, I’ve broken my arm, argued with my family. Have no money and my brother crashed my car and apparently I’M just as guilty as him for letting him drive because he had alcohol the night before. I want to self harm again and I want to exploit my body and do damage. But I know I shouldn’t. But I just don’t know anymore. I’m sorry if I’ve wasted anyone’s time. It may not seem like much to people. But it’s huge for me. It’s hard to put everything down on a page but I’ve had the worst luck.
5 comments
Hey there 🙂 I’m very sorry to hear What’s goin on in your life, and I thank you very much for sharing your story. I know is very hard to share it too 🙁 I’m 14 and bisexual. Many people have tried to tell me that I am a stupid teenager who doesn’t know what I want. Fuck them. I think its great that you told your mom, because I don’t even have the guts to do that. There is nothing wrong with self harm. Its just like expressing happiness with a smile. Except with pain and a knife. I’m sorry that you have to go through this, it must be very hard on you 🙁 but remember, you are beautiful no matter what, we love you, and we are here for you!
If you’d like, you can email me to talk further 🙂
frejashinepaws@gmail.com
Omg :c. If you ever need to.. Kik me. My kik is xxHelpTheFallenxx Im here for you xx
Honestly there is absuletly nothing with being gay/lesbian/bi or whatever! You shouldnt be judged for what you are.Have you ever heard the song “Same Love” by Macklemore? If you haven’t you should. There is always someone that will be there for you. If you ever feel alone feel free to talk to me!
I love that song :3
This is your mind, your body, your life! You are completely normal. So don’t ever think that being gay is a problem! If its their problem then let it be just that, (their problem). Being gay or any sexual orientation is a beautiful thing! I’m not saying its not hard I’m sure it is. You will never be happy if your living for other people’s happiness. That goes for relationships too. We’ve all had difficult partners in our lives, but once again you need to live for your own happiness! You will probably feel so good when you come to terms with! In the famous words of Rupaul (IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE!)