February 1 2011
I can’t keep on being this way; it’s hurting my mother, and family, and even myself. But I can’t stop, I can’t control this feeling, when it comes it takes over me, and when it lives, it lives me confused, with no explanation to give. I don’t know what to do anymore, I want it to stop! I tried leaving it in my life, but it don’t fit, is too powerful and my body is still weak from all those other fights. Please help me, I need this to stop. Every time I see my mom I feel like crying, because I can’t explain to her this feeling I have, she calls it “acting†which I don’t answer back, because I don’t seem to find an answer to this, I can’t see her anymore yelling at me getting mad for something she don’t understand that I can’t control, how can I explain it to her?
I just want this to stop
All this anger, all these tears
Just for them to go away
Far away, where nobody will get hurt
Because the worst feeling in the world
Is to be depress, and having no explanation
of why all of this is happening
But the worst part
Is seeing who you love the most
Getting hurt by this,
Cruel and dark feeling
3 comments
Have you tried therapy? I would suggest it can be very helpful, don’t worry about them judging you as a freak as they have seen people much worse or similair to you, they are there to help. Try to talk to someone that cares and can help you find away through this. Don’t give up on getting better or yourself, have faith and with hard work you can get better.
I can give you one advice…….. Go far away for a moment.. Maybe a beach? some lonely place… and cry everything out… get a pillow with you.. Release your rage…. Let it all out…. If it comes back… let it build up for a moment and release it again… When you release yourself… Think about it.. don’t let it go so easily…. Think about it and then choose if you really want to let it go or not…. Eventually it will leave you….. May peace be upon you.
Give your mom a hug and tell her you need her. Sit her down and have a serious conversation. She loves you, sometimes they really just don’t understand. They see us as children who are playing games for attention. Show her your an adult. Dont get upset or walk away. Talk to her and ask if you can see a therapist together.. That way you can talk without being interrupted and the therapist can explain everything to your mother so she can take it seriously.. =(