As my previous post was deleted because I referred to specific methods under consideration for ending my suffering, I’ll leave that out. Â I’ll only say that I’m considering the two most likely methods that would have me ending up dead.
Why would I want to end up dead? Â Over two decades of health problems that 20+ doctors have not been able to provide assistance with. Â Most doctors either didn’t want me as a patient, refused to consider my long list of symptoms, or misdiagnosed me and provided treatments that were either ineffective or worsened my underlying health problems. Â I have chronic fatigue (undiagnosed for 10 years), Lyme disease (undiagnosed for 20+ years), kidney disease with kidney stones (25 years), arthritis (5+ years), and may or may not also have, based on my own research and symptoms, lupus and MS. Â I have been on many pharmaceuticals, changed my diet, changed my environment, changed my lifestyle, tried vitamin, herbal, essential oil, and probiotic therapies. Â A wide array of auto-immune health problems to which I can find no relief much less a cure. Â I haven’t been able to work since 2001 and have barely survived on savings and inheritance. Â The govt says I stopped qualifying for disability 7 years ago.
My quality of life ended up declining no matter what I did or tried, and now I am miserable nearly all the time. Â So it’s time for it to be over with. Â I was close to doing it today, but ending up being short on some equipment.
For those people who responded to my previous post before it was deleted, thank you for your support. Â Let’s hope this post sticks around a while.
8 comments
Sounds like you’re a sad example of our wonderful health care system in this country. Sorry to hear of all your problems. I’ve quite a few myself and have had no help from western medicine. Hope you can find peace in whatever you decide to do.
Thank you for your words, Bill.
I was raised by two doctors and I learned more from their medical mistakes than from what they got correct. Unfortunately in my estimation, the damage to my health is now permanent; my list of symptoms and their actual and possible diagnoses is nearly unbelievable at this point. Any one or two of my conditions could have been manageable at one point, but after decades of not being properly diagnosed, it’s too late. I’m okay with what I have to do, but not okay with having a method fail and ending up in an even worse condition.
Hey numb_x. I posted on your previous thread but it seems it got deleted so I’m not sure if you replied to me. Anyways I just wanted to say this freaking sucks that doctors failed us and made us even worse. The only useful thing doctors could do for me now is prescribe a lethal dose of drugs. I’m only 24 god damn years old and my life is already over. Honestly I’ve been sticking around for far too long and should have killed myself when I was 19-20 years old. But as you probably know killing oneself isn’t easy.
There should be suicide clinics available where we can kill ourselves peacefully and donate our organs to people who actually want to live. Our society is immature and full of death denial and anxiety.
Thanks for both of your replies, tupac. I agree with most of what you said. Clinics would be good, society is immature and full of denial.
I’ve been trying to turn my health around for many years, and discovered along the way that I, myself, was not in denial about death, but about the quality of my living existence. I learned a lot of things along the way, not acknowledged my mainstream medicine, that have helped many other people with some of the conditions I have.
It has been a long battle that didn’t turn out well for me because of how long it took me to (1) admit to all the health problems I was dealing with, (2) unlearn some of the mainstream BS I accepted, and (3) learn new habits and change my lifestyle. It was too late for me. But if you’re only 24 you may have some answers available. I’m certainly not trying to talk you out of a final exit, nor give you false hope, but if you wanted to put a large amount of work and effort into it, it’s possible you could have a better quality of life, if that’s what you’re looking for. Google or Startpage “gerson therapy” and look for some websites and videos. Also research “cure for all diseases hulda clark”.
If that’s not what you want, then I’d recommend researching firearms and inert gas. There is a good resource out there if you google or startpage “lost all hope”, it contains references to a research book by Geo Stone on suicide. Most of his book has been posted online.
If you remember the title of my previous post, it contained what are likely the two most reliable, quick, and painless methods for a final exit, statistically speaking. And of course check out Humphry’s book, Final Exit. I think he has a blog as well. But doing the research is necessary so you don’t f* it up and wind up in a worse position with more suffering.
I don’t plan to be around much longer but for a while I will check back if you reply.
I’ve already tried everything to heal myself but my brain is too far gone unfortunately. I’m living because I have the false hope that I can somehow heal myself when in reality I know how screwed I am. I’m well aware of lostallhope and Geo Stone’s book. God speed to both of us if/when we choose to make our escape. I hope our exit is fast and we don’t fuck it up lol..
My brain is too far gone, too, lol. I can’t absorb the information I used to be able to, either. Let us both not fuck it up.
Hi, I understand your pain, physical and emotional. I don’t live in the U.S (I live in Mexico). I have this disease too, and Hashimoto’s and I don’t know what else going on in my body.
Makes me so crazy, upset, how the “great” health system in the world is treating us . I hope someday this situation changes. Why the -horrible- doctors love to diagnose recently to every patient with fybromyalgia?
I don’t know what to do.. with the pain, i feel my life is over. I want to live, I used to have plans, I was a more enthusiastic person but this is too hard.
I also have hopes that I’ll feel better…ummm. (I’ll tell my story later). Now my heart, soul, body feels like crap and broken.
I don’t understand why the medical, scientific society behave like this, so individualist and treating us like If we were crazy and rare-weird people. (At least they have treated me like a crazy person with lots of “non-specific symptoms”).
I want to keep fighting but just sometimes I think this is too much.
I wish you the best,
Love, Hugs, and Light.
Natalie.
Sorry for my english.
Thanks, Natalie, for your sympathetic reply. Your English is fine.
I can’t tell you what is or isn’t too much to bear for you personally, or what is or isn’t too hard for you. One way or another, you will come to a decision that works for you.
For myself, it isn’t just the health problems which leave me physically unable to do much of anything including care for myself. It’s also having most friends and family turn against me and abandon me. It’s being unable to work or make a living. It’s the death of my real father who I never really knew. It’s having no money. It’s also having doctors who have no idea what I suffer through propose treatments that are ineffective or ridiculous. Despite my having an IQ of 165, it’s about not being able to find any combination of possible solutions that would allow me to have a life that isn’t miserable.
I hope you can find peace with what you decide and where your life takes you.