Haven’t had one of those in a long time.
But here I am, right now, chest tight, heart racing, pulse pounding in my ears.
I actually went out on my porch and smoked a cig to try to clear my head. The smell of the gasoline in the nearby can for the lawnmower caught my attention and I gave a long thought to dumping it over my head and spinning the striker on my lighter.
It would be an amazing, astounding pain, but dammit, it might come to an end and I would have some relief.
I’m tired. I just want a quiet moment to wrap myself in. I want to not care anymore.
I want quiet.
But I have to live, people depend on me, I have to keep it together.
This sucks.
1 comment
The worst feeling is when you are stranded and you don’t know what you do with your life anymore, the worst feeling is the pain you get trying to hold everything inside just because you have people that depend on and that you plan to spend the rest of this void callesd life with.