Another Life Story…

Ive seen alot of life stories on here so i figured Id try to write mine.I was born in Canada. We had to move a lot (stereotypical beginning of a broken home lol) for my dad’s job. I guess when they first moved my mom cheated on my dad and thus I was born. We moved from there back to the homestead of flatland Illinois then to New Jersey. My dad was a raging alcoholic (once again very stereotypical). I remember we were supposed to go visit family friends and my dad came home about 14 hours after we were supposed to leave for Pennsylvania and him and my mom got into a fight. He tried to push her over a railing with a 20 ft drop, i don’t think he was actually trying to kill her just trying to get her out of his face, and she cracked him in the face with my brothers baseball bat. I think i was about 6 when that happened. They then began the process of a divorce. All of us kids and my mom moved back to illinois and all around me was sex and drugs. My sister was raped and developed Borderline so she was always running around doing hard drugs and having sex. I think i walked in on every family member having sex before I was 10. It kinda did a number on my concept of love and sex. When i was 11 I was arrested for residential burglary and other charges. I started doing drugs that year. I kinda just became the bad kid. When i was 13 i fell in love with this girl abby. I loved her so much. All i did was for her. All she did was cheat on me. I know right? 13 and she was already fucking around on me. I just couldnt understand it and i still loved her to death. After middle school we didnt talk very much but i was still in love with her and would be for a long time. My mother had been dating this crack head black guy since i was 10, he used to steal our car and pawn our stuff etc and just before my sixteenth birthday he kicked the shit out of me because i didnt want to go to school. He threw me down the stairs and choked me. I called the cops and my mom denied he did anything. Then he punched my sister in the face. It actually took 3 more years until he punched her in the face and realized he was no good. Its funny how that works huh? Doesnt matter if he beats your kids, smokes crack and neglects his owns kids, only when its her. Well after he smacked me up i left. I bounced around from house to house until i was about to turn 17. I tried to kill myself several times, hanging, pills, half hearted cutting. I then just worked a bunch of bullshit jobs and tried to do the best i could which wasnt very good. When i turned 18 i reached out to abby again. She said she missed me and had always felt the same way. I always felt she was lying though. I was right and the second i got scared and questioned it she skipped and got pregnant. I took about 30 Klonopin, 2 xanax, and 4 vicodin. I didn’t die i just felt like shit for a while and slept a lot. I would always talk to this friend of mine and he would always try to cheer me up. One day he introduced me to this girl that unknown to me he had taken her virginity and left her and kinda dumped her on me and being the sap that i am i fell in love with her. She really wanted nothing to do with me and would tell me how wed never work together and how much she still loved this other guy but then she fell in love with me, but by that time i couldnt stand her or myself anymore. So i broke up with her. Because of all this and other things i figured you all wouldnt sit to read through, I cant sleep, i dont eat, i cant talk to people, i dont even remember how, ive made myself unrelatable with my habits and hobbies, everyday life seems like a dream and Im not a functioning human being.