I am starting to get really paranoid. About everything. I ALWAYS feel like I am being lied to. All the freaking time.
I am also starting to hate everything that has to do with me. I mean, I never really liked myself but…
See that right there? I trail off way too much.
I can’t even finish a sentence.
Kill me, please. I really don’t want to be here.
3 comments
Can totally relate to tat.
I’ve talked to a lot of people who say the same thing. Same here..it’s hard to trust people. It’s like you have to just respect what people say till you know for sure they are telling a lie..then we have to put up with the fact that people tell lies regardless if we lie or not. I like to stick to the truth..but other people have no shame telling me lies. Like I don’t matter at all…been happening for 30 years like that for me. It’s life..I regret to admit. And it’s always going to be like that. My best advise.. Always be truthful and put up with the lies. Don’t fight..cuz it makes it harder on you.
Consider this:
Lots of other people out there are paranoid too. Perhaps there is justifiable reason to be so.
If so many people have so frequently encountered untrustworthy individuals, then it makes sense that no one wants to trust anyone… and so, many of us are guarded and suspicious, and if everyone is suspicious of each other, it can create a sense of social paranoia.
Too many people have encountered too many reasons to be wary of others. Many of us realize that sometimes, you have to lie to avoid problems (as crazy as that sounds). We know we must sometimes lie, and that others must as well. It’s hard to justify expecting the truth from everyone else, if you know you have to lie sometimes, and why.
Social expectation imposes requirements for us to portray illusory images of ourselves; we are compelled to “go along, to get along.” Most people either know this explicitly, or feel it implicitly. So… how can anyone reasonably not be “paranoid?” I think all you can really do is accept that not everything people say, will be true. Expect to be lied to. Sometimes, it’s really not the liar’s fault (more sounding crazy!). Sometimes it’s just what’s expected, and deviating from that expected norm, will only attract more of the wrong kind of attention. It will make those who go along to get along, not want to trust you at all… because you can’t even be trusted to perpetuate the unjust social requirements of falsehoods.
Deciding to just be truthful, is a way to release yourself from a heavy layer of false-construct-requirements… but it’s not without its own disadvantages. It makes some things harder, but at least it’s one less thing, one less lie to have to carry, dragging it behind you like an anchor.