Still hoping I can gather the courage I need. I keep going on each day either having a pretty good day or feeling like total shit… I tried to go and do similer stuff to what he has done… but can not bring myself to.. I dont even fucking care it dose nothing for me.. what was the draw for him… this shit means nothing without some form of emotion behind it… why was I not good enough.. pretty enough… why did I not mean enough?? why could he not respect me us our family? god.. just one more day… then help me please have the strength… they say it is cowerdly to end one’s own life… if it was that easy even a coward could do it I would not still be here!
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3 comments
It’s not cowardly. It’s one of the lost difficult decisions that one can make.
I never saw the appeal in cheating, either. I tried to do it to get back at him, and just couldn’t.
*most
i can tell you it wasn’t to do with you, that you were walking your path , this man stepped into it, you fell, you trusted, you believed. Because you are human. Because you believed in a future with this person. You gave your heart, the sweetest parts of you, how were you to know. You assumed he thought like you. Had the depth you had. Its impossible for me to understand people with no empathy, honesty or remorse. My mind just wont understand it.
but i know how my words will be like nothing compared to your reality of being in it
I hope you can find something like going somewhere new either physically or in your mind before you turn to ending your life. I don’t mean it like preaching. Because I’ve seriously thought of ending mine. But you could give it a fucking shot – to find a different path. Look, sorry, this does sound preachy, i just wanted really for you to know ive read it.
Oh, and, if you stay around the people who act like that – it is impossible to think straight because they play mind games forever.