I feel like I have gone past the point where I was upset st the thought of suicide. I feel much more clinical about it now. It feels like managing a project , there are tasks I need to check off before I get to the final stage . I feel like ive lost the war and all that’s left is to tidy up the lose ends.
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I’m really sorry you feel like you can’t go on any longer. Please just realise though that killing yourself will be the ultimate loose end, think of all the things you don’t know you’ll be missing when you’re gone. Cutting your life off early is a loose end, just be aware of that, it’s like stopping a TV show mid series or only reading half of a novel. I don’t think you’ve lost the war until you have (figuratively or possibly literally, idk your preferred method) pulled the trigger. The war is not lost yet and you can change everything that’s making you want to pull that trigger or swallow those pills or cut that vein or jump from that height or tie that knot, just remember that. Nothing is lost yet and nothing is permanent apart from death. You haven’t lost the war yet, no matter how you feel now.
Nothing is permanent, including this thing we call “life”. While not recommending your choice for self-deliverance, I also don’t criticize it. No-one but yourself takes the actions which lead to your final act, and the final act comes for everyone through their own path and actions. Death is the great equalizer, it catches everyone eventually.
The main difference with actions leading to suicide and any other set of actions is the understanding that your actions, no matter what they are, ultimately either lead to self-chosen death or while trying to avoid death. Death from sickness because of the actions that led to poisoning yourself OR eating a bad meal full of botulism. Death from a gunshot because of your actions in getting a gun OR your actions that affected a jealous lover who shoots you. Death from a car accident because of your actions that had you driving a car off a cliff OR while minding your own business walking across the street and getting struck by a drunk driver.
When it’s your time to die, it will be at your own hand or it won’t. Clinically, the difference is negligible.
@NotReallyHereAtAll….nothing against you and I know you are trying to help….but please stop with the BS cliches. They do more harm than anything and they are stupid and minimize the pain someone feels. Telling someone to “think of all the things they dont know they will be missing” is like telling someone to think about being promoted at a employer that they dont work for. How could they think about something they dont know about? is it even guaranteed that they will experience said things? and the ONLY T.V shows that get stopped mid series are the TERRIBLE ones with low ratings! and people usually read an interesting novel and close the book on a boring or dull one. You don’t know what that person has lost so you cant say “nothing is lost yet” people lose PLENTY when they face mental illness. You cant say “you haven’t lost the war because EVERYBODY loses the war eventually and usually in war the army that is losing retreats when things look bad not after they have been completely obliterated. I am not being mean or ill spirited I just hate when people use cliches as a reason to live