At first, I blamed everybody else for my failures, then myself, then I realized it is no ones fault. Not even mine. I really tried. This is just they way it is. People just don’t seem to understand. Everybody I know tried to help me, and so did I, but it was never meant to have a positive outcome. Now I sit here with a pile of failures and no future worth living for at an age of 30, with half of it more or less pure suffering. I was never meant to succeed in anything and this was set in stone from the day I was born. Nobody can or could help me or will be able to in the future. And that’s nothing to be sad about. That’s is just they way it is. I really tried to manage life, but it was impossible. If I knew this earlier I could have ended it earlier and spared myself all the suffering.
Now I have reached the point when I know I will end it, just not how or when, except for in a near future. And I just wish for anybody who feels the way I feel to succeed in at least this, if it is really what they want. Nobody should be forced to live a life of suffering only because others want them to. If there is a life after death, I hope those who have suffered so much in this life get to have a little bit of luck in the next.
Quite a redundant post. I guess I just felt like writing..
4 comments
I’m feeling the same, why do I have to live a life full of suffer a life that I dont like to live a life full of pain and nightmares…. that is not fair… I can not stand this emotional pain in my chest I cant stand remember my mistakes… good luck, I hope we all just stop suffer and being sad in whatever place this is not fair,
I feel the same way. Its just the way the world is. In order for there to be prosperity and happiness somebody has to be miserable and unfortunate. I know it isnt anybodies fault why I am this way and I know half the reason is my fault because If I had killed myself a long time ago I would not have been here to experience this horrid state im in. I have given up hope a long time ago most of my days are spent finding ways to distract myself from reality. I plan to end it all very soon and I will not be here in 2014.
Most of my recent days are also spent in distraction. I also gave my life the best shot I could, yet I do feel some satisfaction with what I learned and what little I was able to achieve in life. I also think that things are as things are. I also plan to not be around much longer.
Yes, it,s true Paininlife. For some people to be happy, some have to be unhappy. I believe happiness, like everything else, is relative. I have stopped being angry about it. It is just the way it is. And nobody has the right to tell people that suffer that they should continue to suffer.