I found this Birthday card for my 13th Bday, and once again I’m reminded that once you become a cutter, your life revolves around nothing but cutting. “Oh, this was become I started cutting.†“Oh, by this time I’d been cutting for a year.†It’s “my life before cutting†and “my life after cutting.†And in your life after cutting, it’s all about the cuts. Will I cut today? Will anybody new become suspicious about the long sleeves today? I need to hide my cuts, I need to hide my scars… I need to cut again, and hide it all again, and worry that maybe today will be the day that Nan will notice again, and she’ll tell my parents and my life will fall apart all over again. But until that day comes, I’ll keep cutting and hiding the scars. Trying to tell myself it’s nothing while the cuts become deeper and the scars become larger. Because I’m a cutter, and a cutter’s life is separated into two categories – before cutting, and after cutting. And the rest of my life is going to be spent in the ‘after cutting’ category.
– Georgiee xo
2 comments
What about the third category? The category most cutters want or need to be at? ‘After recovery of cutting’? Youre thinking is hopeless of getting better. Is if because you believe you cant get better? Because you can. If you set your mind to it you can accomplish it. And youll be happier afterwards. But if you dont want that third category then the second one you’ll stay. And you dont deserve that. You deserve to be happy and getting better is just one step closer.
i can relate to your post.
I was a cutter. It started when I was 14 and lasted until I turn 18, when I decided that I didn’t want to be like that anymore. I still remember the day when I realized that I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, while I was sitted on the bathroom’s floor just looking at my thighs.
Cutting can become YOUR LIFE.
After I turned 19 I only failed twice. It’s a daily battle but believe me – you can win.