Do you ever get that feeling that you would just want to cry your heart out, but you just can’t make yourself to cry?
I have noticed that this disgusting thing is happening to me again. It’s that no matter how sad, depressed, angsty or mad I feel, I can’t cry. It’s been a whole summer, about two months, and no single tear has came fom my eyes even though I have wanted to cry just to let this horrible feeling out of me. I don’t know why, but it’s causing me very bad feeling that is just growing stronger and bigger and I can’t get it out, I’ve been thinkin cutting my wrist again just to cause pain so I would start cying, but I haven’t still done it.
This makes me scared, I don’t wanna cut myself but I see it as possible and maybe the best way to forse myself to cry. I just wanna ease this pain inside me, and I think crying would help… if I just could do so.
I don’t know, maybe I was just so tired of crying all the time that I stopped completely and now I don’t know how to do it anymore.
I don’t wanna cut myself. But I’m scared I will do.
3 comments
You could try peeling an onion :p
I’m exactly the same. In the last 10 years, I can’t remember a time when I have. If something happens that I’m likely to find distressing then I won’t process it all at once, I won’t react to it immediately. Then, it can be some time afterwards when it’s starts to filter through and I think, that’d was a pretty bad thing that happened to me. In the same way, I could survive in the most inhospitable place and never complain about it because I don’t formulate the desire to think my life is shit. I understand what envy is, dishonesty etc because I felt them a long time ago, I underdtand why people can be evil but its been so long since I felt it.
There must be some people that understand what I am saying. I can’t be the only person on this site to describe it in that way.
I feel the same way. Though I have been sad for years and am currently contemplating CTB’ing I can’t cry. It would feel good to and I am sure a release but I just can’t seem to.
I’ve never found crying to be an enjoyable experience. It’s quite unbearable, to me. I prefer not crying, especially when anything pushes me in that direction.