I usually recoil in disgust, as i realize there is no way to get through to someone who has already decided what to think, and believes they cannot be wrong.
The implication is that “you don’t /really/ want to die, you’re just being an emo attention seeker.”
I believe the only appropriate response is: “You’re wrong.”
People who believe they cannot be wrong, usually don’t respond well to being told they are.
Then again, this might be a linguistics thing, because it depends on how you define “really want to die.”
If that means “100% certain in pursuit of death,” then yeah. Sure.
But does 90% still count as “really want to die?” I think that some people “really want to die,” but also might have some reasons to not want to die, or are trying as hard as they can, to resist crossing the threshold from “still resisting,” to “completely 100% certain.” And, if we ignore anyone who is that close, while they are trying to change their mind… then we’re only encouraging them to get from 90% to 100%, and then be dead.
But then there are those who are completely sure, but are simply unable, whether due to disability, or lack of access to their chosen, acceptable method.
Although, it is true, in the way that when people want something bad enough, they often do whatever it takes to find a way to get it. But i don’t think that’s everyone, in this case… and i don’t think it “helps” anyone, to not be taken seriously until it’s too late.
It’s a common, simple but good point. For me I’d like to go out without heart-racing panic, to go out with dignity, without major or a long period of pain without make a mess others have to deal with.
As the pain of life continues I find myself considering options I never would have before. The more painless options that are best in my mind are not easy to put together and can be complex AND they can go wrong and leave you bad shape and perhaps a ward of the very people you despise.
Since life has sucked the last 13 years maybe I can make the exit have some more beauty. In a nice location. Perhaps I could do this one thing on my terms.
It’s a naïve statement. Suicide is sometimes impossible. There are those of us who are profoundly disabled or who are paralyzed who might lack access to a means or might even lack access of the ability to move our bodies. For instance there was a paraplegic I read about who committed suicide by stabbing himself. Had he been a quad, he could not have done this. I am disabled enough that I can’t get access to any “humane” ways of suicide like a gun or an “exit bag” (I’d have to have it shipped to the house and my caretakers would likely find it), and so I am limited to strangling myself, of which I have tried several times and put myself through a lot of pain in trying but have not succeeded yet probably because of lack of strength.
Or imagine being taken by a serial killer, I know that sounds extreme but it does happen, and being chained down so that you are unable to move. Or imagine being in prison and being checked on every 20 minutes by staff and not really having the materials needed for suicide.
There is a reference to this kind of situation in the bible even tho I am not endorsing the bible here, but in the book of revelations it says:
And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.
So if theres a god, which I think there is, he might actively block someone off who is trying to commit suicide so that they cannot escape their pain.
Or think also of animals, research lab animals and factory farm animals who have no means of escaping their horrible life.
In life the worst situation is not death! Not at all. It is desiring to die and being unable.
7 comments
Well, I know when it’s my time, I will make sure I succeed.
I usually recoil in disgust, as i realize there is no way to get through to someone who has already decided what to think, and believes they cannot be wrong.
The implication is that “you don’t /really/ want to die, you’re just being an emo attention seeker.”
I believe the only appropriate response is: “You’re wrong.”
People who believe they cannot be wrong, usually don’t respond well to being told they are.
Then again, this might be a linguistics thing, because it depends on how you define “really want to die.”
If that means “100% certain in pursuit of death,” then yeah. Sure.
But does 90% still count as “really want to die?” I think that some people “really want to die,” but also might have some reasons to not want to die, or are trying as hard as they can, to resist crossing the threshold from “still resisting,” to “completely 100% certain.” And, if we ignore anyone who is that close, while they are trying to change their mind… then we’re only encouraging them to get from 90% to 100%, and then be dead.
But then there are those who are completely sure, but are simply unable, whether due to disability, or lack of access to their chosen, acceptable method.
Although, it is true, in the way that when people want something bad enough, they often do whatever it takes to find a way to get it. But i don’t think that’s everyone, in this case… and i don’t think it “helps” anyone, to not be taken seriously until it’s too late.
It’s a common, simple but good point. For me I’d like to go out without heart-racing panic, to go out with dignity, without major or a long period of pain without make a mess others have to deal with.
As the pain of life continues I find myself considering options I never would have before. The more painless options that are best in my mind are not easy to put together and can be complex AND they can go wrong and leave you bad shape and perhaps a ward of the very people you despise.
Since life has sucked the last 13 years maybe I can make the exit have some more beauty. In a nice location. Perhaps I could do this one thing on my terms.
@clevername —good points!
yep when I’m ready I will succeed because I don’t play games that’s why I’m still here I bet. trying to change my mind.
I agree with clevername and renobill….when time comes won’t be no bullshitting straight to the point no hesitation …
It’s a naïve statement. Suicide is sometimes impossible. There are those of us who are profoundly disabled or who are paralyzed who might lack access to a means or might even lack access of the ability to move our bodies. For instance there was a paraplegic I read about who committed suicide by stabbing himself. Had he been a quad, he could not have done this. I am disabled enough that I can’t get access to any “humane” ways of suicide like a gun or an “exit bag” (I’d have to have it shipped to the house and my caretakers would likely find it), and so I am limited to strangling myself, of which I have tried several times and put myself through a lot of pain in trying but have not succeeded yet probably because of lack of strength.
Or imagine being taken by a serial killer, I know that sounds extreme but it does happen, and being chained down so that you are unable to move. Or imagine being in prison and being checked on every 20 minutes by staff and not really having the materials needed for suicide.
There is a reference to this kind of situation in the bible even tho I am not endorsing the bible here, but in the book of revelations it says:
And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.
So if theres a god, which I think there is, he might actively block someone off who is trying to commit suicide so that they cannot escape their pain.
Or think also of animals, research lab animals and factory farm animals who have no means of escaping their horrible life.
In life the worst situation is not death! Not at all. It is desiring to die and being unable.