My ex-boyfriend from middle school messaged me on facebook today, and he’s already bringing toxicity to my life. No, no, I don’t completely blame him.
First, a little background: Michael was my on-and-off boyfriend in middle school. He convinced me he was a demon (how naive and gullible I was) and was the first guy to really do damage to me emotionally. He was the first real self-harmer I met knowingly, the one who introduced me to cutting, the first guy to touch me “down there”… obviously, we didn’t last.
Now, he’s back. He asked me if I want to hang out some time, and I foolishly said yes. First love, so I still have remnants of my feelings for him…Now I’ve already agreed to meeting up with him next week to get stoned on the beach…and try drugs. I’m not the drug type. Surely, I could do with some anxiety medication, but not much else. But he said this drug…it started with a C (not cocaine!), this drug will make me feel really good and awake. He also told me he got a tattoo gun, so guess what else I’m doing? I need to stop myself, but I don’t want to.
My boyfriend’s been asleep for hours, and his phone is dead so I can’t call… if I could just talk to him, doesn’t matter the subject, i’d probably calm down… tattoos are just a better alternative to cutting, to me.
10 comments
Well it seems like you have your shit togethor,I mran you have a boyfriend and boys even liked you at yhe right age how is this sucudial? Are you having a pronlem making a choice
You seem like a very “self-destructive” person.
You will probably regret taking the drugs, and getting the tattoo even more. Funny thing about tattoos, they’re usually permanent, and extremely painful to have removed.
Just wait a few hours and talk to your boyfriend.
And scratch that im having a bad night miss diet pill queen here,hold on im going to write.more
And yea I was just about to say that,dont do crystal but I know you probably will anyways,hes a junky loser fuck him and dont show up who stopped talking to who first,go read that book go ask alice and btw I did crystal for like three years #boom nother secret about me
But yea if you read my stories youll seem im frazzeled,but I dont revomend doing it you seem uppity already
He convinced you he was a demon? Gawd middle school,so now that you said that I know what kind of feelings and memories your talking about
So this is pretty much a tough one for you
And eww tattoo gun and crystal? Hepititis C heaven right there
Google hepititclis C lol sorry im trying to talk you into not going
you got a good head on your shoulders. you already know the right choice. just blow it off. you dont need that shit.
-It’s not crystal, for one thing. It’s codeine.
-“Miss diet pill queen,” excuse me? I might hate my body but I’m not the type to buy into that shit. Thanks for the assumption though, I’m really seeing why I should take your advice.
-I’m aware that tattoos are permanent; I’m not 5, I understand what a tattoo is. My scars are permanent, too.
-I also know what Hepititus is, my mom and her fiance have it. Also, ya know, by this age I’ve had a few Sex Ed classes.
-For someone saying they’re trying to make it so I don’t go, you’re not really on the level. Talking to me like a toddler isn’t going to validate your responses.