Today…

Today has been the worst day of my life. the absolute worst. the first that happened was this one girl, a girl who truly loved me, told me she hates me. i deserve it too. i unwittingly lead her on, when i realized what i had done the only thing i could do was break her heart. and i broke it… i stomped on it. i still feel awful about it. today was the first time i’d talked to her in a long time, she told me that the only way for her to mask the pain was for her to hate me with passion. so she did, so she does. she told me about everything she’d felt, everything. she didnt know that i made myself feel every bit of pain she did when i broke her. i made myself feel every bit
after that my wonderful girlfriend who has kept me sane all this time breaks up with me. she has lots of reasons why that i cant blame her for, until i found why she really left me. she cheated on me with my best friend and they both lied to my face about it. the thought tears me to shreds. i can barely see straight.  i’d take a bullet for her in a split second and yet it meant nothing to her.
then after all that there’s a fight that my whole family gets involved in. it was long and drawn out and the final straw for them. theres no one left for me to turn to. they all disowned me forever, they said i was an awful person. the last straw was the fight i started. i was just looking for comfort…
you cant depend on anyone can you? not your family, not the girl you love and would do anything for, not your best and closest friend. i hate to admit it but i need someone on my side in this world. and all in one day theyre gone. everyone i love is gone…