Random Yet Not-So-Random Question

Also, i meant to ask: is this older gentleman perhaps related to any of his guests? Or is this just everyone hanging out at the local dealer’s house, because he’s “cool?”

Are they literally just hiding away in a basement? Or is there, like, a pool table, darts, beer… some sort of activity that a group of dudes might be interested in doing together? I mean, i would think it’s pretty unlikely that they’re all having a giant gay orgy, but… i suppose you can’t rule it out without more information.

There’s something else i want to mention:

I first smoked cannabis at age 13, almost 20 years ago. Never once did i believe that the pot controlled or motivated my actions to any significant degree. I was always aware of the fact that i am responsible for my actions, regardless of what or whether i choose to consume to produce any mind-alteration.

Pot doesn’t make anyone do anything. People make themselves do things, and then act like blaming the weed is justified.

Honestly, whatever another human being decides to do with their body, is none of your business.

You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but the fact of the matter is that another human being’s preferences are not yours to decide. The fact that you are actively upset about what someone else is doing with their own body, indicates that you seem to think you should have a say in what someone else enjoys, which you really don’t. If you don’t like it, break up with him. Simple. He probably doesn’t want to tell you when he does it, because he knows you’ll just decide it’s too often, and break up with him. He probably likes you, but doesn’t like that you seem to think you should decide how often he’s allowed to do what he likes to do.

I disagree with your opinion that cannabis use is bad, but i didn’t say you’re not allowed to think that. I fully realize that whatever you think, whatever you want to opine, is entirely up to you.

The ‘problem’ i have, is that you seem to want to control the actions of another person… to limit the enjoyment someone else should be allowed to have, because of YOUR problem with it. It’s not you doing it, and it’s not up to you, to tell someone else what they’re allowed to do. If he’s doing something you don’t like, then maybe he’s not right for you. You’re not going to change him. He’s going to do what he wants to do, even if that upsets you. He might even try to curb his own enjoyment of what you dislike, in order to attempt to compromise with you… but he’s going to get tired of you telling him what he can or can’t do, or how often he’s allowed to smoke weed and still be your bf.

You’re still correlating ‘use of substances’ with your highly uncommon particular circumstances. It’s literally the first time i’ve ever heard of someone blaming weed for having their family take in 5 other family members. I guarantee you, weed is not what killed that woman. It wasn’t even just the smoking or other “bad” things you think she was doing, it was her entire lifestyle, which probably began long before you were born. She didn’t die “because weed,” and your family didn’t take in 5 other family members “because weed.” And yet, you’re freaking out because your boyfriend, who you know smokes weed… is smoking weed? More often than you deem appropriate? It’s an incorrect and invalid correlation, and you’re using it to base your attempts to control the largely harmless but enjoyable actions of another human being, due to something that basically has nothing to do with anything.

Are you married? Engaged? Have a kid w/ the guy?

If not, then you have literally zero “say” in what he’s allowed to do, or not do, unless he decides to abide by whatever conditions you demand he follow, in order to remain eligible, in your eyes, to receive his benefits of the relationship you two share.

I’m really not trying to be disrespectful to you, in any way, despite the fact that i disagree with your negative emphasis on cannabis.

“I live with it just fine, it just worries me sometimes when I know he’s with people who do more than weed.”

That’s better.

And like PainNlife said: you should trust him to be responsible. If he can’t be responsible, or if you can’t trust him, then those are two important factors that will remain problematic for your relationship, until either they’re resolved, or the relationship dissolves.

People need to carry a personal sense of duty to their own responsible behavior, and two people in a relationship need to be able to trust each other. The combination of irresponsibility and lack of trust, is almost always insurmountable for a relationship.