I told my friends that I was raped and it made me suicidal. They not only called me a liar and a drama queen but posted cruel things about me on Facebook. All of this because my feelings prevented me from attending a trip they wanted to go on. I’m 20 and thought I would have a good set of friends by now but suddenly I have none and I don’t know what to do.
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People are fucking bitches sometimes. I’m very sorry this has happened to you. People don’t know how to deal with things and resort to acting childishly instead.
I hope you can find new friends who are trustworthy and understanding. Hang in there.
Can I tell you a secret? just between you and me? those morons weren’t friends… I know women can lie about being raped but for a friend to accuse you of lying just means they aren’t a friend. I’m sorry you had to go through that unfortunate experience but at least it showed you that those people weren’t true friends.
I also think you should avoid FB. Its your choice to have one but generally all it does is cause more grief and conflict than anything. I don’t understand why people don’t realize once you put something on FB it’s no longer a personal thing… it becomes public and many times people will resort to saying hurtful things or whatever just to protect their ego or reputation…. conflicts among friends should never play out in public.
I don’t have a Facebook myself which hurts the most because they talked about me thinking that I wouldn’t know. An ex they thought hated me told me what was happening and showed me through his profile. It was embarrassing to tell them this in private then have them post nasty things behind my back.
Thank you. I will try. Hopefully this can help me see what kinds of friends I need and the people who I should stay away from
Well…. I don’t know what to say other than that cements the fact that they weren’t real friends….To discuss you among themselves in private is one thing…..to do it in such a public space is another. Everybody who is friends with each of them can see what they said which makes it so bad. You need to completely eradicate them from your life and never allow them back in….no matter if they apologize 10,000 times it doesn’t matter because the next time you all have a conflict….the first they will run to is FB
Well…. I don’t know what to say other than that cements the fact that they weren’t real friends….To discuss you among themselves in private is one thing…..to do it in such a public space is another. Everybody who is friends with each of them can see what they said which makes it so bad. You need to completely eradicate them from your life and never allow them back in….no matter if they apologize 10,000 times it doesn’t matter because the next time you all have a conflict….the first person they will run to is FB
My former roommates did the same thing to me (as in, discuss me on their Fb walls). They were a bunch of c*nts. Anyway, yeah. Sometimes you have to be careful about what you tell people, unless you know you can trust them.
This whole FB think can be brutal.
Once a therapist told me I was like a ship that needed to come into harbor, but I couldn’t decide which harbor was safe, and eventually (because of dwindling supplies) I’d just pick one (out of pain or desperation), and it would be the unsafe harbor.
Damn therapists. ;^)
Hope you find safe people with whom to share your heart. Unfortunately, it can take time, and they aren’t always in good supply.
@tbd:
Or, you can just decide to sink, right where you are, due to the obvious absence of safe harbors.
I still don’t understand this whole other species also called “human” that intentionally inflicts pain and suffering on others. I don’t understand this world. I’m sorry for what you have survived.
Right, and torpedoes could be useful too, but metaphors frequently break down somewhere.
@gabby, at least you ex filled you in. It would be nice if he challenged the hens in FB. Then you could watch them awkwardly back paddle.
@tbd:
I don’t think the metaphor broke down. I think ‘decide to sink, due to lacking acceptable docking option’ is what leads people here.
@clevername
But the other dock was safe, I just was picking the wrong one. I hadn’t worked on what I could do to be more discerning, or what I could do to stop having unrealistic expectations of others. I had more pain that was reasonable to share with someone who might otherwise been a good light hearted friend. Even well intentioned people can have a delicate limit of how much negativity they can regularly endure. They aren’t defective for taking care of themselves.
I think people are here for an infinite number of reasons–burned up neurotransmitters, maxed out coping skills, a commitment to negative limiting beliefs about themselves and others, an unwillingness to try one new thing, and just plain exhaustion. It doesn’t mean I don’t care or understand, but sometimes one new little strategy makes a big difference
stay strong!