I went to a party and got way too drunk and cheated on my husband… Now he barely talks to me, and neither of us has stopped crying for long. I don’t even know how much longer he’s going to be in my life… This morning I had to catch him as he jumped with the belt tightened around his neck.
I need to die, I deserve to. I’ve caused him so much pain, and I’m not worth it. I’m not worth the air I breathe, I’m such a shit person.
2 comments
Well, I’ll tell you this much, for whatever you did, even cheating on your husband, you are not responsible for his actions. It’s okay if you feel guilty for the mistake you made, but you have to acknowledge that it was a mistake. You may not be able to fix it, and your relationship with your husband may not ever be the same, but you have to realize that you are human, and that humans are imperfect. You can only do so much to right a wrong, but you must try your best. It’s tough to deal with the consequences of your actions, but work through it– even if it means moving on from the relationship or whatever happens. — sorry if this doesn’t make sense :/ —
Sorry, I was reading over what I wrote and I think it sounded too harsh, sorry. I ‘m not sure if I was making it clear or not but what I am saying is this, you are going through a tough time in your relationship and it’s good that you feel guilty about what happened because it shows that you care and are remorseful! I am not saying that it is justified, but acknowledging that you are only human and therefore make mistakes is a good step to take. You next step should be working through it, even though it is a difficult step and of course it is something that will change your relationship which is also a difficult thing to go through.
When I said that “you are not responsible for his actions” I mean that if he is suicidal you shouldn’t blame yourself for it. I don’t mean that you should dismiss it and shouldn’t care, I really do mean not to blame yourself. You can’t predict the actions of others even if they are very close to you. He is dealing with this hardship too, and may also need help.
All in all the best I can tell you is to talk it out with him, and with the help of a professional!
I’m sorry for your hardships. I hope you can stay strong and survive.