I need my mommy.
Part of me hates her for killing herself, but the other part of me desperately wants her back.
Maybe if the little girl I once was grew up with her mother, I’d be okay.
Why’d she leave me? I cry about her every night.
She chose to leave me. She won’t be at my graduation, she won’t be at my wedding, she won’t be here when I have my first child.
She’s gone and I’ll never get her back.
9 comments
This touches me in a special place…I am crying for your loss, I know my words won’t help the pain but I am so sorry for your loss…my daughters father committed suicide before she was born and I wish everyday I would somehow be able to answer these same questions she will someday ask me…I don’t know if you will ever find your answers but I hope you do.
you’ll move on one day. it might be a few days away but you will.
I understand you I hate my bro for killing himself. I hate that he left me here strugelling… So selfish of him.
But, like others said, you will get better, you will move on, you will survive. Couse you are a surviver, just like me. You think about your life in future – thats good 🙂
@smusmu hold on….to compare the suicide of a mother to a brothers is asinine….some similarities….BIG differences …. he didn’t leave you here struggling how so? were you financially dependent on him? was he somehow obligated to you? was he responsible for raising you and providing emotional support for you? not at all…. and it really just urks the hell out of me to see you say you hate him as if his choice was done to personally spite you…. as if he died with the intention of fucking you over or something…. Its not selfish of him to do what was he saw was best for him….he didn’t owe it to anybody to live if he didn’t want to…. now a mother is different because she brought a life in this world that had no say in if it was created…. so her life partially belongs to that child as well….but your brothers life was not owed to anybody….and I think its very selfish to say you hate him and that of all reasons he should have lived you pick one that includes you….even after his death you only consider yourself…
You don’t have to forget her and move on, part of her will always be in you but everyone is still stepping forward with their life’s and you’re staying in one spot. My sister raised me and one day up and left! I cursed at the skies because I assumed she was so cruel And heartless, and I was 11 so what did I know? It’s been 8 years and I haven’t seen or heard from her and don’t even know if she’s dead, but I finally realized I couldn’t let her “selfishness” get to me, I realized she did what was best for her, and probably had a lot of sleepless, tearfilled nights thinking about what she was going to do, your mom was selfish maybe but don’t think she didn’t go back and forth on suicide thinking about you, some people feel like it’s the right thing to do.
yes. I consider myself. Just like he did, just like you do, just like most of people do.
No you ONLY consider yourself…. you don’t know what he, I and most people do….so you can’t say that…now I’m not going to say they don’t but I can say that they don’t only consider themselves…most people think about family before making that decision not all suicidal people are selfish jerks whose only intentions were to hurt people….that’s how you are making it seem….as if your brother ended his life with the specific purpose of fucking yours up…
the pain you must be in must be unexplainable, but you wont forget her but you will accept her choice with killing her self but you just hold on and remember the good points about her.
@cutterlover,
I didn’t have a problem with any of the comments until this one.
“You will accept her choice with killing herself”, oh I will? and “remember the good points about her”, what good points? She killed herself when I was 4. The only memory I have of her is the day she died.