Same here…. I’ve been here for a few months and I like it here…I don’t really have social interaction outside of SP so I like being here for the time being…..
You are lucky to have any sort of interaction even on here. It means you have something to say to others, while I have relatively nothing to say except maybe that i’m a goner and unfortunate one, period.
I pretty much say the say thing….everybody has an opinion they can give on something…. I just share mines sometime although this is just something I use to pass the time… I have set a date that I will kill myself this year in the meantime I just wander aimlessly around the internet during the day….nothing really matters when you’re so close to dying….
Yeah, I see your point. You know, I had set such dates for myself numerous times throughout my life, and none was successful… So now I more believe in the spontaneous manner of doing anything, though I hardly can say I really do anything whatever. Still I ‘strive’ to manage to end things before my next birthday, which seems so close now.
I see it as one of two options…. I could follow through….or If I set a date and then I don’t keep it I’m prolonging the inevitable… I will die regardless….but why go through all the suffering and sorrow?…. Sometimes the survival instinct keeps you from following through with it but its something I’m willing to overcome… I don’t want to live to see next year….really I wasn’t even supposed to be here this year but I failed my last 2 attempts and decided to keep trying while things got worse …. I regret letting it stop me had I followed through I would be at peace….if anything that is my motivation to help me follow through….the ending of all suffering and sorrow…
Yeah, survival instinct sucks, all those times I tried to fight it, have driven me to think i am such a coward, cant do a single damn right thing to help myself. I am constantly at war with myself and with the things around me, everything totally out of whack…I can literary feel myself rotting away and am unable to do any fucking thing about it.
I feel you man its so hard to continue while emotionally and spiritually dead inside…like a tiger that has been captured from the wild and put into a fucking zoo….it just feels like I’m captive…. I couldn’t break out from this bullshit no matter what I did….I hate being inside this physical body… I’d prefer being a bird or a rock…hell even being a bug is preferable to being a human….the live quickly and die quickly…… I don’t even give a shit about improving anymore ….improve for what? to get a job and be virtually enslaved 5 days out the week 8 hours out the day while working for scraps until I’m too old to enjoy anything I’ve possibly saved up? nah I’d prefer not living … I hate existing in such a uniform society where everybody or the majority has to do the same thing until death….work…save…procreate….retire….die….. that’s all life basically boils down to…
To insanity. Such a monotonous life can lead to only one end – complete insanity. I would not be surprised. It’s like a trophy that you get at the end of a competition, or rather battle, with your own life. Only you are not the winner, you never are. This is what I am slipping into now. I don’t know how long more I’ll be able to contain it until it finally breaks free, I hope to be dead by the moment it does.
I agree….eventually… I’d break down…if not today then tomorrow…so why not get it over with…..also I’d like to ask where are you from? I notice you said its late and I’m in the U.S its a bit past noon here
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Well this site is pretty much a ghost town right now so sure why not…..what brings you to SP?
Many things… Actually, I am a ghost myself so, pretty much a resident here. You?
Same here…. I’ve been here for a few months and I like it here…I don’t really have social interaction outside of SP so I like being here for the time being…..
You are lucky to have any sort of interaction even on here. It means you have something to say to others, while I have relatively nothing to say except maybe that i’m a goner and unfortunate one, period.
I pretty much say the say thing….everybody has an opinion they can give on something…. I just share mines sometime although this is just something I use to pass the time… I have set a date that I will kill myself this year in the meantime I just wander aimlessly around the internet during the day….nothing really matters when you’re so close to dying….
*say the same thing
Yeah, I see your point. You know, I had set such dates for myself numerous times throughout my life, and none was successful… So now I more believe in the spontaneous manner of doing anything, though I hardly can say I really do anything whatever. Still I ‘strive’ to manage to end things before my next birthday, which seems so close now.
I see it as one of two options…. I could follow through….or If I set a date and then I don’t keep it I’m prolonging the inevitable… I will die regardless….but why go through all the suffering and sorrow?…. Sometimes the survival instinct keeps you from following through with it but its something I’m willing to overcome… I don’t want to live to see next year….really I wasn’t even supposed to be here this year but I failed my last 2 attempts and decided to keep trying while things got worse …. I regret letting it stop me had I followed through I would be at peace….if anything that is my motivation to help me follow through….the ending of all suffering and sorrow…
Yeah, survival instinct sucks, all those times I tried to fight it, have driven me to think i am such a coward, cant do a single damn right thing to help myself. I am constantly at war with myself and with the things around me, everything totally out of whack…I can literary feel myself rotting away and am unable to do any fucking thing about it.
I feel you man its so hard to continue while emotionally and spiritually dead inside…like a tiger that has been captured from the wild and put into a fucking zoo….it just feels like I’m captive…. I couldn’t break out from this bullshit no matter what I did….I hate being inside this physical body… I’d prefer being a bird or a rock…hell even being a bug is preferable to being a human….the live quickly and die quickly…… I don’t even give a shit about improving anymore ….improve for what? to get a job and be virtually enslaved 5 days out the week 8 hours out the day while working for scraps until I’m too old to enjoy anything I’ve possibly saved up? nah I’d prefer not living … I hate existing in such a uniform society where everybody or the majority has to do the same thing until death….work…save…procreate….retire….die….. that’s all life basically boils down to…
To insanity. Such a monotonous life can lead to only one end – complete insanity. I would not be surprised. It’s like a trophy that you get at the end of a competition, or rather battle, with your own life. Only you are not the winner, you never are. This is what I am slipping into now. I don’t know how long more I’ll be able to contain it until it finally breaks free, I hope to be dead by the moment it does.
I agree….eventually… I’d break down…if not today then tomorrow…so why not get it over with…..also I’d like to ask where are you from? I notice you said its late and I’m in the U.S its a bit past noon here