i actually thought id do well this year. i actually thought id have a good year. i actually thought id have a fresh start. i was very wrong. im just shutting down. so now ill do what he wants. i know how wrong he is. ill give in to everything. ill let the abuse keep coming. and once it causes permanent damage (or more permanent damage) ill at least know that i stuck through it and i will be then be sure what kind of a person he is. and maybe he’ll feel bad about himself then. maybe thats what i need. day 2 of not eating…. let’s see how this goes.