I thought I had ditched this site for good, thought I finally had my life in order, but hey look at me here I am again. And I’ve probably got a hundred new cuts coming along with me too, another habit I thought I had ditched. I’m probably the closest I’ve ever been to ending it all right now, almost to the point of breaking completely. And my so-called “friends” are the ones that put me here. Thanks, guys. So glad that you guys care so much as to push me away and then cry because “I’ve been drifting away.” The boy I’ve only known for two months is helping me more than the friends I’ve know for two years. Or three years. Or four. Or nine. The boy I’ve only known for two months looked me in the eyes and said that if I ever committed suicide, he’d kill himself too, because meeting me gave him a reason to stay strong. We’ve fought such similar battles in life so if I can make it, so can he. But then again, if I can’t make it, neither can he. Or at least that seems to be what we’ve decided. And that’s enough to keep me here at least one more night. But if I’m already this close to suicide as a freshman in high school, where the fuck am I going to end up in this life?
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I just wanted to say that I was in a very similar spot and a boy I had just met helped me through by saying the same thing to me. Although him and I don’t speak anymore, he did help me back when I was in high school and now I’m still alive years later. I don’t have the best life and I get depressed but I have a pretty decent life and things do pan out eventually. Try to look at things in a positive way. The glass is never half-empty, it’s actually always full, it just happens to be we can’t see the half filled with air… So sometimes in life we don’t see the good and forget it exists. But it’s there…