hey there , i dont know u bt am trusting u with my problems ….so here it is..i recently got dumped by my bf of 3yrs he says it was just suppose to be us taken time away because i started university and he wants to give me space to study, bt i intereprted it wrong well what ever i heard the words lets break up ….after this i still contiued to speak with him, cause i dont hold anything against him, then we got in a fight and he treathened to dirty my character with a photo, which most of u mite find normal ,bt to me a muslim girl, its kinda not nice anyway …i fellt betrayed, i mean, how could u hurt me like that, always acting immature and now, u want me bak, want us to work ur crying an telling me how much of a douchbag u were all the time, an your sorry idk wat to do, i started feeling that darkness in my life again, u no the one at the bak of ur mind that makes u hate everything and makes u not care weather your alive or dead, and while all this is going on am constantly fighting with my mom, i can take the pressure of having to be a good muslim girl for her, i feel like am being suffocated in an ocean of despair like am chained at the bottom of this ocean fighting these chains without any oxygen and am scream an no one can here me. I dont know what am doing here and throughout this all i have midterms coming up an i havent study any of that, i cant i feel so lifeless ..i just want to be left alone why !! why !! do i have to live in this world ..i mean i no am strong enough to not kill myself, bt if a bus was going to hit me, i proably wont move out of the way…i no these are petty problems compared to most ppl, bt to me its my world ,cause i am always in school- home vice versa .. i just recently stopped wearing haijb an am adjusting [ i stopped cause i cant wear it if am nt a certain way i think] …and now my parents found out i smoke ,cause wen i dont care about life i smoke i kinda covered it up ,bt if they started to get on with me, at this point in my life idk wat i would do, i use to cut an i feeling more and more it mite started bak if i dont get to vent by smoking u no….how should i face my days ..i look happish to ppl my parents no nothing bout my relationship problems, my insecure problem with myself [body] and that am struggling in school to actually start studying…i just want comfort is it so hard to want someone there for me..i feel like i have no one … i no god is there bt rite now i have to make the decisions …..after hearing all this ish u wanna tell me wat your thinking and what i should do?
6 comments
I completely understand the drowning feeling you describe but probably can’t help you with your boyfriend problem. If I were you I would be ensuring that you used your situation to your advantage at university. Tell your teachers etc of your problems and hopefully they will make allowances for you and give you greater assistance with your work
growing in muslim community is hard.i don’t know where you are but if you are in undeveloped nation where independence from family is hard.you are in hell.how do i know because i live with it.i was a muslim and in order to get out of the pressure from my family the only choice i had is pretending.yes always pretend to be a good muslim.that is why i am doing.and if you are out you can hide your hijab in your bag.and be normal that is your only choice i think.play it smart.about you boyfriend well peoples come and go.this is always true.if he don’t want you it means he doesn’t deserve you so don’t kill time start finding a new one.time is gold.
yea i think if i tell them i should be fine bt am the type of person who does not like to share my problems to much i have trust issues i guess…i dont think i should let the bf thing get to me school is more important thanks for understanding thou i feel better someone knowing how i feel cam29
dear joinel ….hmm i live in the caribbean …. so yea idk where u live bt it would be cool to no thou ,i dont hide my hijab in my bag, i told my mom i not gonna lie to myself and well my dad is hindu so he doesnt care ,they just want me to be responsible ,the thing is thou my mom wants me to stop listening to music and stuff because she has become super religious and kinda forcing it done my throat and its like music is my only comfort from being home school home its kinda like my world u no ..like wen u disappear in to the song …the bf think i feel better being single an ur rite i shouldnt go back to him now..it feels gud to have someone understand so thanks u
well country?ethiopia haha i am kidding . wait a minute i am really ethiopian,nooooonoooo:(
I am a muslim too and i’ve known a lot of friends who’s not wearing hijab now, they make up excuses like they get headaches and felt dissy because its hot when you wear hijab. if your mom’s that religious then i guess you should come up with better ways than arguing.