End me

it was my fault before and years later it still is. No matter what side I was on the abused or the abuser it still was me. My sins have caught up to me and it is more than I can bear. Take this pain from me and free the pain I caused. Free me. End me. I was taught this behavior but wasn’t saved from it. Don’t save me now I’m not worth it.  Should I go Out with a bang and take innocent lives with me? Why? They didn’t save me why should I save them. my time has come my cup runneth over. My anger my emotional well being is not standard. I walk a fine line fooling them except me. I know what has to be done. For it is easier for it to betaken from me. I play with fire and care not that it burns. I’m tired of being the cause instead of a human being because. I’m less than the dirt on the soles of your feet And yet I still walk as if I have a soul worth saving……