Will the current drag me down and carry me away

So, tonight I’m in a bad place. I just don’t know what to do, I’m having job problems/ life problems. Basically, I’m hydrated so my drug test came back diluted and they’re threatening to send me home from training. I feel like I’m up against a wall. They’ve already sent me home once because I hadn’t been off my Ambien long enough. It’s horrible! I won’t even find out until Friday. If this doesn’t work out I’m completely broke and have no options. It makes me feel hopeless, like I’m fighting so hard to get ahead and all I get is worse off than before. I said I’d always put the truth up here. So here it is, I’m not sure that I’ll make it through another disappointment. I don’t want to keep fighting and struggling for the next day to be just as horrible as the one before it. The funny thing is I’ve been feeling so good and handling things so much better than I was before. Like that there maybe light at the end of the tunnel, only to be swallowed up again. Right now, I don’t have the urge to cut, I just want to give up. To go to sleep and never wake up.