I hope you didn’t leave. I only found that forum a few days but had problem to sign up. Your post before ‘So it’s scheduled’ stood out to me, because that’s what I often did when I was totally down and just wanted this all to end: scheduling a ‘I let myself out’ day.
Only once I long time ago I swallowed 30 pills, but aside from that the ‘Let out’ days come up on me and fortunately, I was too happy too ok with with my life at that time to wanna go.
Sometimes later I felt is was ‘unfortunately’ that I was so outbalanced on that day and I cursed myself for not using my chance, ’cause I was back again in a dark phase.
Your letter to your friend you posted here on April last year says it all and is so true. Life can be so overwhelming and you feel that you will never be good or strong enough to make it. You feel this tiresome weakness and this weakening tiredness. And nobody gets who you really are on the inside. They all see what the want to see or believe your act because on some level you’re a better actor than Meryl Streep, Daniel Day Lewis or Brad Pitt.
I often feel like everyone has the right to do it but hopefully doesn’t, because everyone is important, (except for me) I exclude myself from that list, but would gladly see everyone else being happy in life and not feeling the need to end it.
I hope you’re still around because you’re very important. If by any chance you get to read this you can contact me if you like.
2 comments
I hope you didn’t leave. I only found that forum a few days but had problem to sign up. Your post before ‘So it’s scheduled’ stood out to me, because that’s what I often did when I was totally down and just wanted this all to end: scheduling a ‘I let myself out’ day.
Only once I long time ago I swallowed 30 pills, but aside from that the ‘Let out’ days come up on me and fortunately, I was too happy too ok with with my life at that time to wanna go.
Sometimes later I felt is was ‘unfortunately’ that I was so outbalanced on that day and I cursed myself for not using my chance, ’cause I was back again in a dark phase.
Your letter to your friend you posted here on April last year says it all and is so true. Life can be so overwhelming and you feel that you will never be good or strong enough to make it. You feel this tiresome weakness and this weakening tiredness. And nobody gets who you really are on the inside. They all see what the want to see or believe your act because on some level you’re a better actor than Meryl Streep, Daniel Day Lewis or Brad Pitt.
I often feel like everyone has the right to do it but hopefully doesn’t, because everyone is important, (except for me) I exclude myself from that list, but would gladly see everyone else being happy in life and not feeling the need to end it.
I hope you’re still around because you’re very important. If by any chance you get to read this you can contact me if you like.
i love her music so much