Every damn day I go through this cycle. Â I always wake up feeling like a piece of shit, then I progress to the afternoon and feel a couple hours of new hope, elation, and motivation, then comes the nighttime and I feel like a piece of shit again.
Suicide is not a plausible option. Â I would rather see this through to the very end. Â Everyone risks death waking up and walking around every day.
4 comments
I have to take 2mgs of Xanax when I wake up just to calm myself down. I always feel shitty when I’m not doing anything, the bare minimum. I didn’t even brush my teeth yet today.
I completly understand what you’re saying JSR
It can very tiring switching moods and attitudes so quickly.
Strange to see someone else describe the exact same pattern I go through so perfectly. When I wake up, I hate opening my eyes and regaining consciousness and coming back to another day of this life. Then as quickly as possible I go about distracting myself, find something to do online, figure out somewhere to go, start cleaning up, anything to distract myself. At some point during the day I might manage to feel better, start thinking about what I need to do to fix my life, feel somewhat hopeful about it. Then the sun does down and it gets quiet and lonely and I dread climbing back into bed alone, but at least look forward to the escape of sleep. The roller coaster is very annoying and tiring, it takes a lot of energy each day to try to climb out of the ditch and convince yourself to feel better. Every day starting over at square one waking up miserable and trying to snap out of it again. I also don’t really consider suicide at this point and am pretty sure I am sticking around to see if I can muster up the strength at least one more try at trying to have a decent life.