I want to  be gone but I can’t. What if something goes wrong and I survive? Then ill look like an even bigger fool. What will people think? not that my family cares but I can’t hit my sister. Shes she only one that’s there even though shes a loT younger. I know it would damage her for the rest of her life and my parents would be mad at me. But they don’t understand when they  yell at me to do things or call me fat I want to leave. They tell me I don’t get it but i do. So much.
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I know how that feels, i can’t go too. My sister is the only thing that is keeping me alive to go on. But i’m afraid that i can’t hold this anymore. I’m losing the fight, and it’s hard.
If your failure is public knowledge and everybody knows about it? expect to be treated like a fucking leper ….people will avoid you and treat you like you are crazy….rooms filled with chatter will go silent upon your entrance….your very aura will exude stigma and people will not treat you the same at all….once it is common knowledge that you attempted suicide and failed you will be marked….forever….. there will be no “forgetting”….every new friend you make will find out through others …same with any girlfriend you get (or boyfriend) …..bottom line….if you fail and everybody knows? upon your recovery expect a real version of your own “twilight zone”
I have to agree with PainNlife, Im going threw the same thing, the only difference is that i didn’t exactly attempt it, if i did i KNOW i wouldn’t be here. but when people in my home town found out that i was contemplating it and that i had a shot gun under my chin when i got caught. i got the same treatment as if i did attempt it.