One of this days

Have thought about ending my life two times before … hospitalized for it twice … I have been ok for the last three years … i have gone through a lot in life… divorced two years ago and raising my eight year old on my own (single dad) … my son has been and still is my only anchor to life… me and my son survived a terrible plan accident a week ago… I am confused now … I am walking the fine line between living and dying since the resent plain accident … i am feeling that i died already and its a matter of finishing it … and then there is this … MY SON… but death is calling with a loud voice … almost deafening… I wish I died in that accident and blamed it on somebody else (silly) … but one of these days it seems inevitable