Okay… where do I begin?… In kindergarten there was this nerdy girl in class who all kids made bullying to her, she didn’t have any friends, not even a single boy or girl who accepted her on their table to lend their colors, no, nothing, she was smart and nice, but she cried a lot. One day, this little girl named Diana appeared and helped this nerdy girl, she was a sweetie, the most incredible girl ever. Diana was so so nice to the girl, they became friends.
Years later, that nerdy girl was on elementary school in 4th grade and by coincidence she met again Diana, they were again friends it became the girl’s best friend but then… this is the sad part, yeah, Diana was diagnosed with leukemia, the girl was so confused, she left Diana alone, 4 years later when the girl was on middle school Diana was weaker and weaker… she died on october 2010, the girl was so broken, she started to have a horrible life, always depressed, she started to harm herself cause the girl who helped her live was no longer living, and after that, the boy she liked ignored her, his best boy friend became the worst friend she ever had, in 7th grade it all seemed perfect, she was happier, she had new friends who were the best friends she ever had… yeah, until 8th grade were all became again the worst year ever, she was bullied by one dumb girl and her group, she didn’t know why they treated her like that, she was a nice person, she didn’t even talked to them but they still bullied her. Finally, on 9th grade those girls stopped bullying her, she was happier, she made new friends who were younger than her but better than her generation, she fell in love with this guy… who also felt in love with her, they went to a trip, all the guys knew they both loved each other and finally the guy asked the girl to be his girlfriend.
They found out they had stories in common and both went on a big depression when they were just little kids, they were perfect for each other but when they got to month 3 the fights started to happen then it was all okay then again and in the present they are still fighting for stupid things, that makes the girl real sad and she’s trying to figure out why is she still here and why does her boyfriend still loves her because she thinks that she isn’t worth it, that in this world there are better girls and she is just an anemic girl who is spoiled and needs attention.
Okay, so that girl obviously is me, I’ve harm myself many times and I’ve cried so many times, I have think so many ways to kill myself but I always remember that Diana wanted to live but she couldn’t and I can live and it would be a little selfish of myself to end my life just because I’m depressed, sometimes I do have my very darkest and deepest thoughts which exasperate me but I believe I just need help, I just need someone to understand me, I want to help people but I’ve being doing that for almost all my life which is not much (i’m almost 16) and now I think I also need help from someone, but no, I don’t have that kind of support from my parents or all the rest of my family neither friends nor my boyfriend, I guess they have their own problems to take time to help me with mine.
2 comments
By walking the dark path, you’ll learn something, take advantage of that knowledge, and the mistakes you’ve made, there’s no need to worry about making them again, ’cause now you’re truly aware of your weaknesses. Live your life to the fullest, because I bet that’s what your friend wants. It’s true – time will heal, but time will also tell. My brother died on the same day as I was borned. Unfortunately there are more questions, than answers.
Try to get help. Talk to someone, a councilor, or your parents