“When you are sad, know this need not be. Depression comes from a sense of being deprived of something you want and do not have. Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by your own decisions, and then decide otherwise.”
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Yeah it comes from being deprived of a time machine…If I could build or buy one I’d surely be rid of depression…because a time machine would effectively nullify all the reasons that I am depressed…I could go back and stay in childhood forever then when I became bored with it (which would take a billion years) I could go back further and stop myself from ever being born thus stopping all my current day problems from ever occurring to begin with…
Another nice cliche/platitude G.W. Excuse me while I barf.
Yes, PNL, a time machine would be handy. Depression for most of us here is situational, and if we could back up to a time before our shitty situations developed, we could become happy again for a while.
It may be helpful to admit that you are curious to know whether it is actually possible to decide otherwise. In fact. it is. Once that is however dimly acknowledged, the active search for the means to decide will come into clearer focus. G.W.
@GW: Dude are you serious? are you saying people are choosing to be depressed? …for 5 10 15 20+ years people CHOSE to be depressed!? is that what you are saying? I mean just to be clear is all…
@Renobill: I think cliches need to be banished from existence…at least ones pertaining to depression anyways …they are annoying as shit… I mean according to our friend GW here all we had to do was smile and decide to be happy 🙂 who knew this was the cure all for all our problems ….
So a paralyzed person is not deprived of anything? They just need to mentally decide they haven’t been deprived of their arms their legs? A retarded person is not deprived of anything? Kidnapped person, not deprived?
@GW,
I think you tried to say that we all should quit feeling sad, and one way that is correct. But then there are facts. Some things are lost forever or can never be yours.
@Resu but how can you “quit” a feeling off of sheer will alone? so do people who feel sadness over a lost one choosing to feel that way? does a person who wins the powerball lottery choosing to feel happy?….if I walked up to you and slapped the dog shit out of you are you choosing to be angry? No…because feelings aren’t choices….if they were I’m sure everybody would operate on happiness all day every day…
No one chooses depression, as such. Some, however, make choices that result in a depression, which seems to come out of nowhere. Then, while trying to be good, the world becomes less helpful, more abrasive, more derisive. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Yet, if there is no hope, there is no point. And there is hope. Even in the throws of sorrow, there is still hope. Even while bewailing the falseness of a hope that seemed to be available, there is hope.
Yes, there is pain and hopelessness. Still there is hope. What are you gonna do?
@PainNlife,
I was just refering to what GW wrote, I thought GW tried to be helpful. That’s all.
Anyways, to answer those questions. Of course we don’t choose to be happy if we win some lottery. Are we even happy, or angry or sad. Or whatever. But then I also don’t think my first reaction would be anger if you happened to slap me. It depends very much on person.
I also think if I win a lottery. (There is no even Power Ball in here) Of course, I wouldn’t choose to be unhappy but in my case, maybe that too.
@GW,
That was weird somehow. What do you mean some of us make choices? Do I choose people to hurt me and then get depressed. Do people choose to get in accidents. Do people choose having their loved ones taken away from them?
And I am just going to dwell here in my depression because I choose so. There is maybe hope in every situation. There is despair too.
Nah, anyways. We all try sometimes to be happy. After that some of us fall too many times and don’t get up anymore.
There are also chemical imbalances.
People can’t choose to escape from poor health or physical problems. They can choose to quit their job, they can choose to drop out of college, they can choose to move out of their home and go somewhere else (if they have the money). If they are being physically abused, it can be much more difficult to leave. If they have children, they shouldn’t walk out on them.
We can try to improve our situation, but if it can’t improve, the best we can do is distract ourselves with temporary diversions so as to lessen the depressive thoughts.
Can I just leap in and say that no, the chemical imbalance story was made up by psychiatrists and parroted by Big ******, but has no scientific basis.
Recommended reading: Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.
Regarding the whole choice thing:
No, of course we don’t choose everything that happens to us.
But we do make choices every day, all the time. And a lot of us make them without being conscious of it, out of habit.
And because of that, a lot of us mentally log those choices as something that “happened to us”, rather than something we chose.
Choosing consciously is one of the small powers you have to influence the course of your life.
Well, whether it is a ‘chemical imbalance’ or not, there are very real mental disorders that are difficult to control with medication, therapy, or anything else. Obviously many factors have contributed to these kinds of conditions, but they cannot simply ‘disappear’ because the sufferer wills it so.
I recognize that mental problems are real. I suffer from them myself.
And I’m not blaming people who take the pills their psychiatrist prescribes. I take them myself.
I’m just pointing out that the pills are prescribed on a completely bogus basis, and that research shows that they statistically WORSEN the outcomes for people suffering from mental problems.
In other words, people are, on a massive scale, being made more sick by doctors who believe they are helping. It’s a tragedy.
@muspelhem… thank you for bringing up the pill and big ****** issue. I’ve done tons of reading on this issue, the pharmaceutical companies well as the medical ‘industry’ make huge profits off of us depressed people pushing medications on us that in most cases are no more helpful than a placebo. And in a lot of cases they make things worse, along with a list of nasty side effects, most of which the ****** companies don’t report. @persephone mentions the chemical imbalance thing, which ‘can’ be an issue in some people, but like you mentioned the pills don’t help. And they certainlyndon’t take away the situation(s) that have made us depressed. The whole medical/pharmaceutical industry is just one big money making, big profit producing sham.
I concur, this is why I’ve never taken meds myself. If I had a serious condition I’d have no choice, but I don’t see that medication would help me any with where I am now. (Unless I could find something to help with cognitive performance.)
The only medication I would take, if it existed, is the one that would make me permanently disappear.
We do choose our thoughts though. Chemical imbalances do make us feel shittier but we can choose to think “this is my chemical imbalance, this is not me”. In a way I think people become depressed because somewehre inside themselves they believe they deserve to feel that way.
I can’t play victim here. I’ve definitely had a hand in my own depression, and I think that is what G.W. is saying in so many words.
Rape is an example of what happens when a man “simply decides not to be deprived of something he wants.”
So no, i disagree. You can’t “just decide” (although i suppose technically it IS an option, though not a widely accepted one) for things to be different.
“One does not simply…” choose not to feel anguish or despair, when it comes from a place they cannot control.
You can only control yourself, and only to an extent.
But AS WE ALL SHOULD DAMN WELL KNOW BY NOW, “the self” is just not enough for most people to be content. I need more than just myself. I need a willing companion person. If i don’t have that, i can’t be happy. That’s just the way it is, it’s not something i’m “deciding to feel that way about.” I’m simply understanding myself and knowing what would actually make me feel content, and possibly even happy.
I would be doing myself a supreme disservice to simply blatantly deny the truth of my needs, the truth of my humanity, the truth of my problems. And that would make me just like everyone else who doesn’t help when they could, or pretends not to understand, when the language is as clear and direct as it can be; or just ignores and dismisses and minimizes and disregards everything i say, as if i have no idea what i’m talking about… when i’m the only qualified expert on the topic of myself. And then there are those who love to accuse me of “playing the victim” (what a fucking meme that has become), when i have in fact been repeatedly victimized! I’m not “playing” any victim, and none of this is about pity! It’s disgusting! I plainly state the problems, looking for solutions that i can use on my own without needing anyone’s help… and i get accused of “playing the victim?” One of these people, one of these days, is going to find out the hard way, why that’s not an okay thing to do to people, especially those who are already about to snap, flip the fuck out, and go ape shit all over your face. And i swear, if that ever happens, i’m going to be screaming “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM! STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM!!!!!” While i smash their teeth into their brain.
“Then, while trying to be good, the world becomes less helpful, more abrasive, more derisive. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
So, let me see if i have this correct; that would mean that the road to Heaven would be paved with being an asshole?
Try to be bad, the world becomes more helpful, less abrasive, less derisive; you fit right in, doors open up, and everyone loves how much of an arrogant, belligerent, violent idiot you’ve become!
Yeah, No.
If you tell people what they want to hear, they’ll like you more.
Is that good intentions, or bad intentions?
I always thought the road to hell was paved with chocolate, located on the shoreline of some lovely seaside beaches, and that it had lots of strip clubs and bars along the way. Huh. I like the ocean, as well as chocolate and alcohol so you can guess which road I’m taking. (We all have the same due in the end so who cares.)
Clevername, you need to get yourself a good punching bag (like, a literal punching bag, not a person). Let out some of that built-up frustration.
Reference your comment, “When you are sad, know this need not be”
I normally don’t like to criticize other people’s comments here, but you have NO idea what you’re talking about with that comment.
Sorry if I come across as mean here, but you can’t have ever been truly depressed yourself, if you make a comment like that.
I wish every day that I could not be depressed. I’ve tried everything I can not to be sad. Nothing works. Maybe I don’t NEED to be sad, but the reality is that I AM sad, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Apologies for sounding harsh, by the way….I know you were just trying to help. However, you should acknowledge that sometimes there is just no solution for a problem….
I have been truly depressed for about a decade.
And I, for one, have NOT tried everything. Far from it. I’ve felt sorry for myself and withdrawn into my own bubble of sadness. Taking “my” medication.
Which is what happens to a lot of people.
I have fought too, I have studied, I have exercised, left my comfort zone.
But I haven’t tried everything. Nevertheless, for the past many years, I have told anybody who dared to suggest hope or optimism to piss off.
The problem with that attitude is: It makes you feel vindicated, and right. But it doesn’t make you feel better.
Here’s the deal:
You may never get better.
But if you aren’t open to the possibility of it, you’re almost guaranteed to stay depressed for the rest of your life.
And who wants that?