It feels like I’ve been preparing for this forever and I’ve still got a long way to go. Less than 2 months yet. The method is ready and most of my personal things are taken care of. Packed up, donated, or tossed out. It feels good to travel a little lighter though.
Everyone thinks I’m fine but I’ve snapped months ago for the last time. My autopilot is on and I’m just saving, saving, saving. I plan to cover my expenses, put cash in the hands of my siblings for college, quietly distribute my things to people who I know could use them, and I’m even training a friend to take over my job. They have no idea.
I feel very guilty for this to be so sudden for everyone. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but if someone finds out… my level of hellbent would be discovered and I would be sent to some sort of hospital prison. I’ve never been and don’t particularly want to go especially since I’d lose my job. Then, not only would I be NOT convinced that I want to live, but I will have to start over or leave them nothing.
So, what should one consider when killing themselves? I’ve already picked a method that is clean and I could potentially donate my organs depending on timing. My things aren’t a horrible mess so it should just be a matter of hauling the tubs to a dumpster or wherever. I’m still working on letters… which are not easy. I am trying to figure out how to transfer my car over secretly and legitimately. I’d like to avoid a will.
What would you take care of first if you were in my position?
2 comments
You`re not cruel, you`re suffering. I have to ask. Can you seek therapy that may help you with at least one, if not many of your issues?
Those are basically the same preparations that i have worked on getting in order. Takes forever to do properly. Lots of work involved as well.
You should leave a will or an email to a confidante who will take care of things when you’re gone. I’ve done that already but have no plans to end my life anytime soon, just being prepared.