My health, my youth, my dreams, my potential, my opportunities, the blessings I have had…
All wasted. I don’t even know why, I truly don’t know why. I don’t know why I’ve been wasting myself. I don’t know what I’ve been doing or thinking.
If, and, but…
Maybe, can’t, no…
Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve…
The beginning of the end is almost here, I hear, and I don’t know what to do now.
4 comments
That’s partly of been the story of my life… shoulda, coulda, woulda. Now at the point where the only thing left to do is end it.
Not knowing is ok. Just stay there for a while. It passes.
I’m the same way. Pretty much threw away everything I had.
Thank you for your responses.
What if I told you that I spent all of my adolescence and early twenties feeling this way? And now this feeling and my situation are worse than before. I just really don’t know what to do. The solutions were always there, but I never utilized them for some stupid reason.
I used to say I wanted to die when I was younger, but now I truly feel I need to die. But I still don’t want to die…but I am so sick of being alive, and there truly is no hope for my life now. My life is never going to be the way I wanted it to be, not even a little, not anymore. It’s all downhill from here, more or less.
I don’t know what to do. I ruined everything, negatively expended everything, and there’s absolutely no going back. It all just gets worse as time passes and I get older. All I need is to go back!