It’s 5:02 a.m November 12th and iHavent slept. I have to wake up for school in an hour. I have soo much going through my mind it’s insane. No one knows that I’m thinking about committing suicide and the ones I have told, aren’t taking me seriously and don’t seem to care.. I usually try to stay positive but at this point I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to that won’t talk to me like I’m crazy.. I can’t talk to the counselors at school because they don’t really care, they’ll just put me under suicide watch or something stupid like that. The only thing holding me back is my family and my parents . I love them very much, I’m just very unhappy and there’s nothing I can do about it..
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Margarita, I do take you seriously. I started feeling like you do at age 16. No one took me seriously.
It sounds like you have loving parents who care. Can you talk to them, perhaps tell them that you want to talk to a professional therapist about how you feel? I understand if they don’t understand because my mother’s response to me saying I wanted to die was “No you don’t. That’s ridiculous.”
I do understand. You are young and at an age when so many hormones and changes are happening inside. This evolving time in life isn’t permanent. Please stay alive. I think there is hope that you can find support through this horrible time in your life.
Sending caring and love.
Vedura
I appreciate it. And yeah this isn’t something I can talk to my parents about . I wish I could but they’d just think I’m stupid like everyone else I know . I just wish that one of my “friends” would hear me out instead of just assuming that I’m selfish, because that’s not how it is at all.. You know?
People who call a suicidal person selfish have no idea of the pain and confusion they are enduring. I do understand. I know.
I wish I could help more, but please know that you are not alone in this world. Many share your feelings. I hope for you that you can get help. Hang in there. I sense that you are a very beautiful person.
Well thanks for the help. I’m trying to keep my head up, and the only thing that makes me happy is dancing so that’s something to look forward too.. And thanks I just wish I didn’t feel so alone..
I know those feelings all too well.
I wrestle, and try my hardest in school, as most young people try to do, I hope. And I strugle with the exact feelings you do.
If you wish, feel free to email me. brl.cents@gmail.com
I’ve been in your position, except I did try. I saw how it hurt my family and even though I still get constant thoughts about doing it again, I get a flash back about how hurt and devastated my family was and I could never do that to them again. Just remember your family is the most important people in the world.
I do hope you will find a healthy place and get some help. At a certain age, believing your parents don’t care or understand is somewhat natural, but also usually somewhat wrong. I bet you’ll be surprised with the love and support you would get from your parents once they find out the severity of your situation. I only saw this post because I stumbled upon your photo in the media library, and thought to myself, “this person looks too happy; is she one of those people who comes here just to urge others to look on the bright side, smell the roses, etc?” Now, I know looks can be deceiving, and I don’t doubt the feelings you express. But I do agree with the first commenter
that hormones can be a serious issue for someone your age, and once those things subside the world can become a different place. That photo seems to indicate there must still be some inkling of the happy, beautiful young woman inside. From what little I’ve read here, it seems like it could probably be a lot worse and a lot better for you. I just have a feeling you’re within range of recovery, and you may well have your best years ahead of you. I want to see those like you make it, in case I don’t. The loss of a life such as yours does seem like a tragedy, so please don’t take it lightly. I just want to encourage you because your case does not seem to avoid of hope to me. I wish you all the best, Margarita.
that first to last sentence should have said, “your case does not seem to be devoid of hope,” not “avoid of hope.” stupid voice to text, can’t all our modern marvels be completely flawless?