Don’t Say Die or Suicide to people who do not understand.
The guilt shame and disgust and knights in white coats will be aimed your way.
Don’t say you want to die if you want to be put on a guilt trip by everyone.
Don’t say suicidal or you will be shamed into hiding your feelings so those who you confide in can feel better so they don’t have to change how they treat you – and so they can feel better sticking their heads in the sand.
Don’t say I HATE MY LIFE or you will be told you are a failure and caused this yourself when you have NOT – and every time you reached out those who were jealous or had agendas kicked you when you crawled.
Never say you wish you were dead – or your therapist will also make it personal and wonder what they could have done differently. Because even suicide can’t cut you slack for the horrid life you live. You now have to worry that even your therapist is taking your pain and making it about them.
All the people who ask HOW could you do this to so and so. Well SO AND SO was not nor has ever been there unconditionally much less consistently.
Facing homelessness? Move home with people who HATE you and see you as a failure. Even when you did well you were NOT ENOUGH.
It always MY FAULT I can’t get a job now that my ex of 20 yrs and I are divorced while I live in poverty while he lives in wealth.
Its my fault I could not make him love me.
Its always my fucking fault.
This is the day – the one I knew was lurking like the grim reaper – arms outstretched for me to embrace the walk into blackness.
I dont care what is after this if anything. No biblical BULLSHIT nor karma crap matters when you are already dead and done holding on.
This is the day – the one I knew was coming if I could not find work or a safe place where I would not be guilted and shamed as I struggle to claw at the tattered shreds of my life.
This is the day.
Now I lay me down to sleep
dog by my side
As I take take this leap
All the kings horses
All the kings men
Won’t come to  save my life
The end
7 comments
Hot stuff.
good luck in the after life my friend
thanks man
All the kings horses
and all the kings men
can’t put me back together again
I say that to myself all the time. everyday. I am disfigured without relief or hope of relief. Went to a therapist once, what a joke. she has no fucking clue, no fucking clue at all, what one day of this life is like, and I bet you money she’d kill herself if she had to live for one week as I have lived for thirty years.
rach – totally understand. I hate those mfs who have people in their life who actively care and truly help them – but minimize what you tell them. Because they are safe and have not endured what we have. So sick of everyone telling me une,ployment and losing my business – divorce – the disgust and abandonment by friends and family would kill the most strong of people.
So sick of everyone telling me une,ployment and losing my business – divorce – the disgust and abandonment by friends and family would kill the most strong of people.
<——you got it right on bro.
Im just here to fight my wife so she doesn’t get more…..
Im just here to take care of my mom…….
Im just here knowing I’m done with life once I completed these 2 things.
Im just here knowing my life will no longer matter.