I think that it is horrible to run out of tears to shed. At first, I could cry and cry and never run out of tears because the pain was so new and I was so unfamiliar with it. But now, when my parents throw another insult my way – another degrading term in my direction – I can’t help but feel this horrible and dark feeling settling above me.
When you run out of tears, there is no feeling left inside of you. You sit still as insults and yelled and your face is a mask of stone. Cold, indifferent stone. A ball of led sinks in your stomach and you want to cry but you can’t. People call you heartless. They say you have no emotion.
But the truth is just that they stole it from you, and they’re being stingy. Holding it back. Keeping it hostage.
And still, they keep saying mean things.
You’re heartless.
This is why no one likes you.
Go die.
*****.
You can’t stop them.
You just reach out for the comforting hand of self-harm. Even then, you’re still left with a numb pain in your chest.
And this is all
their
fault.
1 comment
Yeah