The best part of my day is when I fall asleep, oh the peace of that darkness.
I am tired of the waking hours, endless days of be glad I’m alive, of being kind to others and forgiving myself. Being awake is the confrontation of my complete isolation, lack of any pleasure from the normal slavery of life – work, partners, friends. I’m awake but crushed, ground down, exhausted and abused by the rotten evil called life.
It’s not a dream, a joy, a celebration but rather the agony of a promise made and never kept, constantly betrayed.
Those lies of polities, religion, money, love, faith. The believers in them walk through this world asleep while I cry n scream in torment awake alone. Isolation. Darkness, sleep and never wake, peace no more pain. Come to me now.
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4 comments
can’t say as I understand your anger, but the thing about trust is not so much whether they can be reliable but whether a person can be trust worthy, in that regard I do find my expectations are a bit high, which means recognizing that people are often times filled with contradictions.
Best part of my day is falling asleep….. <—-same here.
When I wake up, I count the hours to when I will go to sleep.
The day is filled with suffering, dealing with too many problems.
It’s all the same with me. I hate being awake. I’m always surrounded by mean people, and I have to face my problems everyday. I just can’t deal with it anymore.
You must like to do something. Anything? Try focusing on that. I used to listen to music and read, almost all the free time i had. Now i started to try other things, playing, writting. When life is particullary gray, it makes me feel better, gives me some pleasure. Sometimes even brings me some sense, some meaning.