I wish I knew how people who killed themselves got their courage. I stumbled onto this site looking for methods. I guess what I am trying to say is I am here to be talked into suicide. Not out of it. The decision to di it was a long time coming, but it was an easy one. Actually doing it is proving SO HARD! Help. I just dont want to see tomorrow. I think/say/scream this every moment of every day. But tomorrow always comes without fail. Please help me kill tomorrow.
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I know youve probably heard this plenty of times but killing yourself is never the answer!! Rise above the earge to do whatever you’re thinking of doing! Dont let anyone put you down! Sure you said you wanted to be talked into killing yourself but not out. But no one on this site is going to do that! We’re all here to stick up for each other! Stick in there! 🙂
Hey there Hysteragirl! I know it might seem tough right now and tomorrow may look bleak and I can relate on a massive scale, I’ve suffered from major depression for the last seven years but it can’t last forever can it? One day things will get better, I know how you feel, I’ve tried to kill myself a few times and failed every time but it’s not the right answer. Everything will get better one day, you just have to hold on and hang in there. I hope all goes well.
welcome to death, nobody has the right to jail you here while you dont like. you only need one moment of courage & one correct step to feel free 🙂 . this is my email if you like to talk about details;
goods_maker@yahoo.com
welcome any time.
If you feel you need to be “talked into suicide,” it doesn’t make sense for you to be here. It’s not about courage. If you think you need to work up the courage to do it, then it’s not really what you want to do, which fits with my first statement.
We’re not here to convince you (or anyone else) to kill yourself.
So far, what i see is:
A) you’re not ready
B) you don’t really want to do it
C) you’ seem to be here for the wrong reasons
I know exactly how you feel. I can’t really offer any encouraging advice, but I will ask – is there anything that could change in your life so that you would not be so inclined towards suicide?
Well Im the opposite…. Im so afraid of… The Emptiness …. after the suicide …..I think im so scared that im trying to survive the suffering of this life just because of this big fear i have…. If i wasnt so scare of not seeing tomorrow … I just would get over with it … For me being Dead is not a stated of mind or a change at all … Its the worse … because there is no change, no conciseness…All rot…
Without consciousness, one cannot be aware of lacking consciousness; without a body, consciousness cannot occur, and there can be no experience or awareness of any sensation or condition at all. There is literally nothing to fear beyond death, except the absence of the ability to live and experience. No feelings, no thoughts, no sounds or dreams or visions or hot or cold… you’re just not even there anymore.
@Clevername, I do not know how I can even begin to explain the complex psychosis that is my currebt mental state. But I can tell you that I am ready. I need a fool proof method and a fool proof time. That is all I am waiting for. I do not need convincing. I am firmly entenched in my decision. I am not here to waiver or for people to try to talk me out of it. For surely, anyone who tries to talk me out of it does NOT understand. I read your event horizon metaphor. It was beautiful. I am just waitingbto go into the black hole. I cannot escape this fate. So this is me, the doomed astronaut, calling houston, calling the stephen hawkings who have looked at and thought the most about this black hole….I am calling you to tell me the less jarring way to slip in. I am asking you to tell me it will be to just let go and fall in. Even though neither of know what its like in there for sure. Even though it probably wont be ok.
@Persephone Your posts make you sound absolutely lovely. I read a few and then before I knew I had read several. I hope you dont mind a little stalking lol. But no. I have asked and asked myself “what do you need…..what do you WANT?!?!” And I come up empty. No wants. No desires. I am empty. I am done trying to stuff things into me in hopes of feeling full..of feeling SOMETHING. But it all passes right through me……me?! Want to live?!? I am already a ghost.
then i guess the hard part for you, will be accepting that you have to continue enduring your own hardships until you figure out what way or plan is right for /you/. Don’t worry, things don’t usually just get better on their own while you’re deciding what to do. Take your time and figure out how you want things to be, and do the research necessary to facilitate whatever you decide. You’re the only one qualified to decide such things. But i can tell you that when you think it’s as bad as it can get… just wait a while. You might just find yourself surprised at just how much more you can take, than what you thought, or what you wanted or intended to endure… and you might find yourself learning to be calm, even amidst the noise and chaos. If you’re sure you want to go, then take some time to make peace with yourself, and learn how to do whatever it is you decide to do, the right way, whatever way you decide is right for you.
@clevername “No feelings, no thoughts, no sounds or dreams or visions or hot or cold… you’re just not even there anymore.” …. Im afraid of losing that … Guess Im not ready yet and just being a cry baby…
Hysteragirl
Great metaphor….sadly just like NASA geeks in front of computers cannot REALLY instruct astronauts about….well being astronauts, we can only hazard guess. Tell you what we think. And some of us have been astronaughts. Have looked at that giant hole and come back. But none of us have been through. I can tell you….in my role of suicide stephen hawking :-)…that detergent method is your best bet. Ive kind of become its oficial spokesperson! And know that I will be coming after you at some point. But you best be damn sure. There is no return. None.
@hysteragirl I’m very flattered, thank you. Stalkers are great, stalk all you want. 🙂
That’s unfortunate… May I delicately inquire as to your age group? Are you past 20, 30, 40, etc?
I felt exactly like that for a good long while. I’ve been trying to be more optimistic lately, but I can’t shake my down spells (brought on by both my environment and by my own mental state). My physical limitations are too much to handle sometimes… *sigh*
Anyway, I do agree with Clevername. I’ve been living in a very negative situation (not in my mind) for a year and a half, and despite repeated suicide attempts, I’m still here. I’m not sure what to do with myself, but I suppose that I’m ‘surviving’? Idk.
@Persephone I can legally drink. So I am good for a good time every so often :-). But I sadly too suffer from walking corpse syndrome. Surviving is all I do. Not living. I feel like a disgrace to the word. I feel like a waste of space. Space I am happy to abdicate! Someone else can have it! When I irritate someone or am somehow in their way, I just want to be gone. Out if the way. I want to be nowhere.
Hehe. You should join me sometime, we’ll hit the bar or the nightclub and forget our troubles for a while.
Yeah. I feel like that where I’d been living, here and before this. I’m not much good for anything, as everyone points out to me. I know I’m not a bad person, I’m just not ‘progressing.’ When nothing is changing, and I’m still being lambasted for being a failure… something ain’t right. For me, it’s either – something has to pick up soon, or… what am I still doing here. You know?
I do know!! My sister told me “give it time. Something will change” Why?! And what?!? The change I see is my departure! And I would love to go clubbing! The town wouldnt know what him them. Two vixens with nothing to lose ;-).
Hehehe. Should I ask what your time zone is? Well, the fact that you’re posting at this hour probably means you’re in a different time zone than I, so I won’t get my hopes up. 😉 But if we’re ever in the same city, give me a shout. 🙂 (You have my email address, if you check the comments under ‘edit’. Feel free to contact me anytime, really.)
Did you attend university/college? I did for a couple years but depression caused me to put in a poor performance, so I dropped out. I might like to return someday and acquire a degree this time, but that depends on my health and if I can boost my motivation somehow. It also depends on if I can make enough money, and that factor will be determined by my health, et cetera, as well.