I can’t stand to live this way anymore, I want to reach the top of the hill but its like I’m walking in quicksand. Tonight, like many others nights has taken it’s toll on me, mentally and even more physically. I work daily, function properly in a social capacity, but lack love for myself combined with an overactive mind just makes me sink further. I see people I aspire to be like, things I would like to have, goals I want to achieve, but see no possible way to better myself while feeling so alone. I’m embarrassed to walk around with my emotional baggage for everyone to see, but no one cares. It seems people today are just more caught up with themselves and their personal interests. Now, this is the point where I always feel like I’m complaining but could I just be desperate to feel something other than this negativity? Or am I just making up these feelings?
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
6 comments
You are not making up these feelings. Every thing you feel is real. I agree that society is too wound up to give a fuck about people like us. You should want to feel something other than negativity. I hope that you learn to love yourself, and email me if you want to talk about anything. (lullabyraven@gmail.com)
Lullaby, I really appreciate you for understanding what I’m writing about. In a way, I feel normal talking about the accumulation of my feelings with individuals who get where I’m coming from
Most people nowadays are selfish. I can say that about most of my own family. They got the news I tried to end it, only 1 cared. Where the hell are the rest? I even sent a message to my cousin, who when I last saw him, appeared he was a nice guy. Evidently not, just more reasons to want to leave one day.
When I reach that point when there is no worthwhile family left, I will re evaluate it all, and make a decision then.
I agree. It is reassuring to talk to other people who know exactly what you are going through. Just remember to keep your chin up and float over the quicksand to reach the top of the hill.
The war within yourself naturally works toward exhaustion. Stop fighting. Stop resisting. Stop asking for something different and accept the present in its entirety for a moment. Where’s the harm?
G.W – What do you mean stop resisting ? I’m mentally fighting my own thoughts so I don’t harm myself anymore. Ya ill accept that society doesn’t give a fuck about the mentally ill, my legs aren’t broken so I must be 100% fine, right? Accepting that there’s no one around me who can do shit for me doesn’t give me an ephiphany to will suddenly recenter my life. I’m the problem, so wouldn’t it make sense for me to be gone