Tylenol, Advil, Midol… which one will help ease the pain? They say death is peaceful, and that theres a heaven, but what of theres not? What if once your dead, there’s nothing? What if deaths not the easy way out, but the road that leads to no where? As I sit here, I need to know the answer, because I don’t want to die unless its worth it. I don’t know if suicide is selfish or the only option, but i’m so sick of life. I’m fat, i’m ugly, i’m stupid, i’m a coward.. when will this voice in my head go away? I just want to go somewhere, were i’m free. Free from the pain, the anger, the suffering. My dad’s an alcoholic, my mom doesn’t understand me… Who really knows me? Who loves me? Who cares about me? Is it wrong that I don’t care about myself? The fact that I’m sitting here contemplating to take these pills, but instead I’m writing about it.. What does this say about me? I’m just so sick of dealing with everyone else’s opinions. They say i’m fat, they say i’m a loser, but what do they really know? I guess the good news is I feel calm now, I think I just needed to get this off my chest. I feel lighter. Hopefully when you read this you will too. Just remember suicide isn’t something you can do over… Once you swallow those pills, slit those wrists, or stop breathing all that air, you’re dead. You’re better than this, so put down the laptop, turn off the computer, or whatever your using to read this.. Take a moment to look at yourself and notice everything that the world would be missing if you were gone. You’re loved. You’re special in your own way. In fact, if you feel like giving up and committing suicide, call me first, I’ll help you through it.
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7 comments
I don’t know you, but I know how you feel. It is very hard to help others, when you don’t even love yourself. I had been cut free for almost nine months, but I gave in to the pain and hurt myself worse than ever. If I were to put down this computer, I am scared of what I will do to myself. A voice inside of me is whispering “cut, cut, CUT” and I feel helpless to stop it. If I tell my parents, they will only make my life a living hell. Right now I am stuck and I don’t know how to continue on with life.
It’s a really great feeling to know i’m not alone. It’s actually really comforting to know my voice is being heard, so thank for your kind words! As for the cutting, just remember your beautiful inside and out and know one can ever take that away from you… So yes believe it or not put down the computer and trust yourself to make the right choices. After all, you can’t help someone if they’re not willing to help themselves, so please take care and I know I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.
For some folks, there is no hope. Its just reality. Hope is death and/or what is there.
I’m sorry you feel that way, but I think hope is the one thing in the entire world that keep us thriving for more and helps us achieve our goals!
@jessicahillonn
You say such kind words. Thank you for that. I hope that you can believe the words that you say about others are true about yourself as well. “You’re beautiful inside and out and no one can ever take that away from you”.
It is pretty gutsy for you to put your # on here. Good for you, it is good to know there are people like you around. I might be needing you around the christmas holidays.
I didnt say I dont have hope right now…… I was referring to people in general
I have some hope at the moment.