I am extremely stressed with school, work, trying to be normal  and  not the self harm way . I have no outlet . I want to relapse.  Is relapse a pre-meditated thing?  I need to self harm . I tried everything to avoid it (5 min rule, butterfly, red ink, rubber-bands) but I can’t/don’t want too…the problem is I have to cut myself multiple times to achieve the same sense of high/pain compared to the few cuts I could get away with before…
It is obviously first world problems. And I get that I do.  Everything I’ve read about trying to recover from SH talks about forgiving yourself  and relaxing but seriously what the fuck do I kno about that…absolutely nothing.  Yep, it’s a vicious cycle
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at least you still try to feel, cutting and releasing and having the passion of saddness plague you. I feel nothing. I don’t cut anymore because it has become painless. I have become completely numb and hallow I envy your passionate saddness.
Thnx for reading and replying. I wish there was a support group for SH. The only one I ever found was Christian, I think it was called celebrate recovery or something and it didn’t help at all. You’re right I’m on the flip side of depression and SH. I’m sorry if my post came off as insensitive, I realize it’s a suicide site not a SH site. I guess when I kinda kicked depression I lost like 7-8 years of my life just staring into the abyss willing myself to die and I’m trying to figure how to get back into the rat race of life and sometimes it gets to me…does that make sense?